In this fast-paced world, where technology has seemingly brought us closer together yet also driven us apart, the importance of a significant other becomes even more pronounced. And having this special bond requires a lot of maintenance.
One Redditor asked, “What was the best relationship advice you ever got?” Many users shared their experiences, and we have listed the top 20 pieces of advice for you!
1. Fighting Against an Issue
A discerning Reddit user commented, “Keep in mind that you are not fighting against your SO during conflicts. You and your SO are up against the issue.”
Someone else replied, “There are a couple of verses in a song by one of my favorite native language rappers which basically goes something like this “At the end of the day, you’ve got to find someone to join the me against the world team” stuff’s deep. In my language, it rhymes and all, so it’s even better.”
When disagreements do arise, it’s important to avoid the blame game. Instead, focus on finding solutions together without losing sight of the love and respect that form the foundation of the relationship.
2. Appreciate Each Other
One Redditor stated, “Never take each other for granted; show appreciation often.”
Someone commented, “I’m going through a separation/divorce, and this is advice I can swear by. We were both terrible partners to each other, in a vicious cycle of being mean to each other because the other was mean, ad infinitum. Never worked on our relationship, and took each other for granted. Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to do things better.”
All you have to do is let your partner know you see them, value them, and are grateful for them. It doesn’t cost a dime, but it sure goes a long way in strengthening that bond.
3. Discuss the Life Ahead
A Reddit user wrote, “Discuss life goals (especially kids) and financial habits before you get married. If one person wants 6 kids and the other wants to be childless that’s not going to work. If one person has champagne tastes and spending habits, but you as a couple have a boxed wine budget, then that is a problem. More than one marriage has been ended because one spouse is bad with money and refuses to live within their means.”
Another person agreed to it and said, “Holy s***, I wish I had known this sooner. (Or… I did know this, but didn’t heed my own instincts) Dated a woman for years that was like, “I’m fine living paycheck to paycheck and scraping by. I’ve done it all my life, and I’m used to it”. Cool, except… she made it a point to always scrape by. Didn’t matter how much money we made as a family.
During my busy months, I can make $8K a month. Somehow…. we’d still only barely get to buy or stash away very little. She was like a carp. Her spending would grow as big as the budget permitted. It was only EVER going to be living paycheck to paycheck, which was insanely stressful. I’d call it constant financial terrorism. Just no way to live.”
Discussing life goals isn’t just about the big stuff, like where you want to live or what career you want to rock. It’s the nitty-gritty details, too- like how many pups you want to have or whether you want to travel the world. Sharing the little dreams is like adding sprinkles to a cupcake- it makes the whole thing sweeter!
4. Having Kids
Someone commented, “I want 3!” vs. “I want 4!” can be solved. “I’m not sure if I ever want kids” vs. “I’ve dreamed of being a parent my whole life” is a valid reason to break up. The number of people who whistle past this problem only to find it’s still there 4 years later is shocking.”
Another replied, “Second on the kids’ thing. If you disagree, don’t push it off as a future issue. It will make it worse. Resentment will build as you know what will inevitably happen. Sure, you can compromise on the amount possibly, but you can’t compromise with zero.”
So, should you have kids or not? Now that’s something only you and your partner can decide.
5. Trust Each Other
A discerning Reddit user commented, “Prioritize trust and build a strong foundation of it.”
Another person pitched in to say, “Yeap. Trust. If you think about it – the worse thing about cheating is not because one genital went into another genital. It’s all the lies that surround it (“I was at work till night”, ” I would never do that to you”, blablabla), and once the truth emerges, you realize you are living with the person you can not trust at all, and relationship is not even fixable at that moment.”
And hey, here’s a pro tip- trust isn’t something you can demand. It’s something you have to earn, like a badge of honor!
6. Be Honest
Being honest with your partner means being open about your feelings, thoughts, and even your vulnerabilities. It’s about sharing the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. And let’s be real; no one’s perfect; we all have our quirks and flaws.
One Redditor stated, “Tell the truth even when it’s not what the other person wants to hear. They may be disappointed at first, but trust is more important than a bad mood. Never yell at your spouse/kids/anyone unless it is an emergency. That way, they will feel a lot more comfortable telling you the things you don’t want to hear.”
Another responded, “Both so true. Lying to make things better never works out in the long run. Ime the truth always comes out.”
7. Support Each Other
Being there for each other isn’t just about saying, “I’ll support you.” It’s about showing up and proving it through actions. It’s about being present when they need you, not just when it’s convenient. Someone commented, “Be each other’s biggest supporter and cheerleader.”
Someone else replied, “I love the quote “I don’t want you to save me, but you can hold my hand while I save myself” Support with respect is key.”
Another person pitched in to say, “From “Russian Doll”: Alan: You promise that if I don’t jump, I will be happy? Nadia: No, man, absolutely not, but I can promise you that you will not be alone.”
8. Someone Who Wants You
One wrote, “I love ‘Find someone who wants you, not someone who needs you’.”
Another person agreed to it and said, “After my mom divorced my dad and moved us away, she worked super hard to make sure I was a very independent person. When I was in my 20’s, I asked her about this, and she told me that after her divorce, her main focus was to raise me so that when I got married, it was because I truly loved him and not because I felt I needed him. I am grateful for that woman every single day.”
The problem with being needed is that it can lead to an unbalanced dynamic. You might feel burdened by the weight of their expectations and responsibilities as if you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. And let’s be honest- that’s not a recipe for a healthy, happy relationship.
9. Helping Out
One shared, “While it’s always good to believe in yourself, help from others can be a great blessing” – Uncle Iroh, AtLA.”
Another replied, “My counselor once gave me a card with a red circle and line over the word ‘fix’, and he said, “You fix cars, not your spouse.” That really changed how I view my role as a spouse.”
One of the beautiful things about helping each other is that it fosters a deep sense of trust and intimacy. Knowing your partner is there for you, supporting and cheering you on, creates a safe space where you can be vulnerable and real.
10. Focus On Yourself First
A Reddit user wrote, “I always tell my students that the person they have to foster a relationship with the most is themself. The person you are going to spend the most time with in your life, by far, is you. Work on that relationship, love yourself, forgive yourself, and the rest will come.”
Another responded, “Thanks, I needed to read this. I’m gonna write this down because I get stuck so easily looking to other people for comfort and ignoring the fact that I’m responsible for myself.”
Let’s debunk a myth here: focusing on yourself doesn’t mean being selfish or self-centered. It’s about nurturing your own growth and well-being so you can bloom into something extraordinary.
11. The Scoreboard
A discerning Reddit user commented, “There is no reason to keep score. You are both on the same team. If one (or both) of you starts keeping score with things, it is time to evaluate the state of the relationship and why this is occurring.”
Another person agreed to it and said, “Ugh, this is exactly where my relationship is at. I’m in a long-term, very happy and healthy relationship. But between both of us working from home during COVID and also both having health issues recently, things have been strained, and some score-keeping is happening.”
Have you ever tried to keep your score in a relationship? How did it turn out?
12. Say No 50/50
Life can be like a wild tango in the grand dance of love. Sometimes, one partner might need to take the lead, guiding the way and carrying a bit more weight. Other times, the roles might reverse, and the other partner becomes the guiding force.
One Redditor stated, “You should always feel like you’re doing more than half the work. Partially because this way, you know you’re not freeloading off of your partner’s work and partially because your partner probably does a hundred things a week that you don’t see and may not even notice. Simple stuff like wiping out the sink, dusting a surface, etc. Be a steward of your shared spaces so your partner doesn’t have to do it all on their own.”
Another person pitched in to say, “THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT. There is no such thing as a perfect 50/50 split because of the “unseen tasks” that every partner has. Do more than your “fair share” and your partner WILL notice.”
13. Schedule Dates
A Reddit user wrote, “Oooh, we do this! Saturdate has been a staple since we moved in together in 2010. Most every Saturday is us and an adventure, often with bacon.”
Someone else replied, “100%! My partner and I do date night every Saturday night, which will vary from going to dinner and a movie to ordering a pizza each and playing video games together. Just because we’ve been together 12 years doesn’t mean you have to stop going on dates together.”
Here’s the thing about dates: they give you an opportunity to focus solely on each other. Because in the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in work and chores.
14. Have Fun
A good sense of humor goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship. Life is full of challenges, and laughter acts as a potent remedy. Sharing a good laugh lightens the mood and reminds us that we’re in this together as a team.
Someone commented, “Remember to laugh together and keep the romance alive.”
Another responded, “A serious relationship should have its moments of utter silliness. Sometimes, love means wearing banana bundles as hats and meowing at each other.”
15. Have an Identity
Picture this: You’re in a relationship, and it feels like you’re floating on a cloud of bliss. But hold up-, while it’s wonderful to be close to your partner, it’s equally essential to maintain your individuality. One wrote, “While in a relationship, don’t lose yourself as an individual.”
Another replied, “This is always important, but it’s life-shattering when a breakup occurs, and one of the people doesn’t have their own identity.”
16. Be an Active Listener
One shared, “Practice active listening to understand each other better.”
Another user gave this tip away: “Engagement: There isn’t a movie in the background, and you’re not on your phone; this is the thing you’re doing right now. Non-verbals: you’re nodding, your body posture indicates you’re listening and following along, and you’re making eye contact.
Verbals: just because the other person is talking doesn’t mean you’re inactive. Say small phrases that show them you’re listening and enjoy hearing it. Like, “Oh wow, seriously?” Or “Oh, good point” or “I see.” Stuff like that.
Reflection: a lot of people are just dying for their opportunity to talk. If you reflect back to them, it lets them know you’re hearing them, and you want to know more, and it opens them up more. “That must have made you really mad” is a good reflection. “You must feel heartbroken; I would feel devastated too.” Something that labels the feelings they’re having, which they may not have done internally yet. “What happened next?” is a good door opener to let them know you still want them to talk and you’re here to listen.
Empathy: chances are someone opened up and talked about something challenging. “I’m so sorry that happened to you” can go a long way in building a connection through empathy. “Wow, this is so much, I don’t even know what to say but thank you for sharing it with me. I’m sure this was hard” work as well. You DON’T. NEED. TO. BE. COMING. UP. WITH. SOLUTIONS. Saying, “I don’t even know what to say” is a fine response.”
Engaging in genuine conversations, putting down our phones, and giving our undivided attention lets our partners know they matter. Truly understanding their feelings and experiences fosters empathy and connection, bridging any gaps that may arise.
17. Relationship FOMO
Here’s the truth- love isn’t a box to tick or a prize to win. It’s a journey of connection, growth, and mutual understanding. Looking for a relationship just for the sake of being in one can lead you down a road of flings and heartbreaks.
A discerning Reddit user commented, “Don’t look for a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.”
Another person shared similar thoughts and mentioned, “Not having a romantic relationship is better than being in a bad romantic relationship. (The phrase is usually “no x is better than bad x”, but I find that can be misunderstood more easily).”
18. Make Time for Each Other
Taking time for each other is essential, especially in today’s busy world. Carving out moments for date nights, weekend getaways, or even quiet evenings at home creates lasting memories.
Someone commented, “Make time. You’ll always have a million and one things that need your attention, but if you’re going to be with someone, start a family with them and make time for them. -My dad, who is still very much in love with my mum, who isn’t really feeling it anymore because she’s spent the last 35 years married to a workaholic farmer.”
Someone else replied, “Regularly setting aside time for one another is a small way to make a big impact on your relationship.”
19. Communication
Every relationship has its fair share of challenges, like navigating through a maze. But with open communication, you become an unstoppable team, finding solutions together and growing stronger in the process.
A Reddit user wrote, “Your partner can’t read your mind. Talk to them about why you are upset or what is bothering you. Don’t hold your negative thoughts inside; it will only make the situation more bitter.”
Another person agreed to it and said, “Also, you can’t read your partner’s mind! Never assume the worst intention if they said something hurtful – chances are, they meant something completely different.”
Another replied, “Biggest trick to this— even if you aren’t sure why you are feeling some way- tell your partner you are feeling some kind of way. Eventually, you’ll figure it out, or they can help you work through what may have caused the feelings.”
20. Understand the ‘Nos’
A discerning Reddit user commented, “When I was around 14 and had my first serious relationship, I went to go see my girl in the evening. Before I went out the door, my dad stopped me and said: ‘Son, there’s one thing that you should know, and after I tell you, I’ll shut up about it.. If a girl says “no,” that means “no”. I felt really awkward atm cause it seemed obvious, and I felt like my dad saw me as an idiot.
10 years later, I still think about that moment and what my dad said, and I feel so proud of him for pointing out something that is really important. I feel like simple advice like that is not given often enough.”
Another responded, “My dad gave me the same “no means no” talk when he found out I was starting s*x ed classes in middle school around the age of eleven. I wasn’t even interested in girls or dating or any of that yet. But he referred to it as “the most important thing they’ll never teach you in any class at school.””
But hold on- understanding the ‘nos’ isn’t just about big issues or significant decisions. It’s also about the little things- respecting your partner’s need for personal space, preferences, and choices.
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