The Greatness of Doing NOTHING
Realizing That its Not Always About Doing Something
We all work hard. We all deserve some self-care. Recently there has been a increase of conversations regarding “self-care” and how everyone, especially women and mothers, HAVE to make time for self-care. The days of martyrdom are gone. We know understand that it important, nay, CRUCIAL, for mothers to take time for themselves- to DO something for themselves.
There are so many ways to “do self-care” that are cheap or free. You can take baths, you can exercise, drink a yummy coffee, watch a movie etc. I feel like sometimes I bombarded with this. Take an exerciser class! By that drink! Eat that chocolate! Sometimes I feel like there are moments when I feel stressed out about the self-care that I haven’t done. Have I taken care of myself today? Am I prioritizing myself? I MUST go exercise, I MUST find a friend to have coffee with. Its almost become another thing on my to-do list.
The other night I was exhausted. I had a long day at work, the kids were less than optimally behaved. My hips hurt from being pregnant. All day long I had promised myself a hot bath at the end of the day. The problem was that at the end of the day, when the kids were asleep, the kitchen cleaned, lunches packed, I DIDN’T want to take a bath. I was too tired and worn-out to do all the things to get ready for a bath. I know its not exactly a laundry list full of things but I felt like even that was to much. I felt like screaming at myself ”YOU ENJOY THIS! WHY WON’T YOU DO THIS FOR YOURSELF?!”. So in the spirit of “self-care” and “taking care of myself” and “putting myself first” I dragged myself to the bath, filled it up, put in some bath salts to soak and got in. it was nice. Baths always feel good and when I got out of the bath I felt like I had completed my self-care of the day. Now that my checklist for the day was over I could get into bed and go to sleep.
I didn’t feel good though. I didn’t feel taken care of. I didn’t feel relaxed or happy. I felt pressured. I felt forced. I felt like my “self-care” was making me more stressed out than ever before. So I thought to myself, ”What did I really want to do tonight? What would really make me happy” and I honestly couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do. There was nothing I wanted to do for ME. There was nothing that would make me feel good and taken care of. And then it was if a light bulb hit. I DIDN’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. In fact, what I wanted to do was NOTHING. Hats right. I didn’t want to take care of myself. I didn’t want to do something “nice” for myself. I wanted to do NOTHING. Absolutely zero. Zilch. No bath, no walk, no talking to a friend, no piece of chocolate, no watching a TV show, no reading a book, no mediating. Nothing. I want to sit and be. Maybe browse my phone, maybe think about things, maybe not. Maybe just sit and zone out and do NOTHING.
Continue reading “Give Yourself the Gift of TIME”
