Are you tired of hearing criticisms from your family members about your frugal lifestyle? It can be frustrating when others don’t understand your financial goals and criticize you when you just trying to live your best life and be responsible.
Is Your Family Critical?
Recently a woman explained that she has been having trouble with her family being critical of her frugality.
They say things like, “You deserve to spend more.” It was frustrating, and she asked for ideas to handle the situation. Here is how the frugal community responded.
Here are ten effective ways to handle critical family members who insist you’re being too frugal. These simple tips say goodbye to the nagging and hello to financial freedom.
Stop Telling Them About Your Finances
What you do with your finances is your business. Unless you are seeking advice, stop discussing your finances with other people. One user says, “If they ask you, say something like I’m not comfortable discussing my finances.”
Related: Should We Talk About Shame and Money?
Tell Them You’re Happy With Your Life
Another explained, “Shrug, and says I like my life and have what I need. I’m happy!” That is the perfect answer. You being happy should be all your loved ones want for you anyways.
Refrain from letting their lack of understanding of your lifestyle and financial choices decide how you are with your money. You earn it and are free to spend or save it how you choose.
Reinforce Your Decision Without Discouraging
Your frugal habits seem strange to someone who is not frugal. Try and see their perspective and show agreement, then reinforce your perspective. You can compare the item to one you already own that is similar. Why would you need two?
Somebody suggested, “Try and use language that validates someone else’s mentality when trying to encourage you to see reality their way. For example; You’re right; that is a nice shirt. I already have one, just like it, but I bet it would be cute on our friend. Redirect the conversation without discouraging their defenses of your no.”
Don’t Engage
When someone questions why you won’t buy something, nod, smile and walk away. It’s not their money, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. “Not engaging Is the way to go. Let them think whatever they want. Live your life.”
Leave It With Simple Answers
If you need to explain yourself, give a short answer, something close-ended. Please don’t allow them to retort a reply about why you should be spending more money.
For example, “It bothers me when the house is too cluttered, so I’m pretty careful when I buy new things to make sure they’re something I will use every day and leave it at that.”
Explain to Them Why
Sometimes people reject what they don’t know and understand. For example, to them, spending $20 on a new shirt just because it’s cute doesn’t seem unreasonable, but to a frugal person, why spend the money if you don’t need the shirt?
Somebody said, “If you think these people can be reasoned with, then take them aside one by one and hold a general conversation about differences in values. Then, put as much positive spin on it as feasible.”
“You realize that’s a different path, and you’re glad to hear about their purchases if that’s what they enjoy. However, when you’re looking for opinions about prospective purchases you might be making, you’d prefer they wait until you ask them.”
Blankly Stare
Many semi-jokingly noted how they would stare. No expression, just a blank face. They elaborated, “No reaction. No thanking. No acknowledgment. Just a blank stare.” This would throw a person off and sway them to topic change simply because they are now uncomfortable.
Make It Boring
Make it boring. “It works for me,” confirmed one. Every time a friend or family member tries to persuade them to buy something they don’t want. Being a broken record gets tiring and boring. This approach may cause a person to give up, knowing you won’t argue the topic.
They May Be Uncomfortable
One may ask why someone would care so much about their frugal friend not participating in shopping. Their frugal friend will walk alongside them and window shop while they are purchasing for pleasure and not need.
To them, purchasing just for need is not an option. They often feel purchasing something fills a void in themselves, so they become uncomfortable that a frugal person does not have that same need for comfort as them.
One person commented, “I think when people understand you’re being intentional and deliberate with not consuming, they tend to back off. Eventually. Because they realize that you don’t need to fill any unhappiness with material things.”
Get Firm
Finally, set your boundaries and get firm. It’s not anyone’s fault but their own, if you’re frugality bothers them. “Tell them that unless they want to start paying your expenses, they can mind their own business.”
20 Legal Things That Will Probably (Hopefully) Be Illegal In The Next 20 Years
In today’s modern world of legalities and regulations for everything, there are certain things that people are eager to see illegalized in the next two decades, despite the complex legal landscape or things people think will become illegal in America.
20 Legal Things That Will Probably (Hopefully) Be Illegal in the Next 20 Years
15 Things That Are Really A Scam But Have Been Normalized By Society
Have you ever seen something that is so crazy and ridiculous that you are sure it’s a scam but is actually normalized by society? Do you know that society is being scammed, but everyone is just acting like it’s normal?
15 Things That Are Really a Scam but Have Been Normalized by Society
10 Crazy Myths About Women Men Actually Believe
In our society, many myths and stereotypes exist about women. Unfortunately, some men still believe in these myths, even though they have been debunked time and time again. Here are some of the crazy myths that men believe about women.
10 Crazy Myths About Women Men Actually Believe
20 Things We Thought Were Awesome As Kids But Actually Are Pretty Terrible Now
As children, we experienced many things that seemed magical and exciting. However, as we grow up, we realize that some of those things aren’t as great as we remember them to be. They are just not as fun as adults.
20 Things We Thought Were Awesome As Kids but Actually Are Pretty Terrible Now
10 Things Everyone Takes For Granted That Could Disappear Tomorrow
In our bustling lives filled with routines and daily distractions, we often overlook the precious aspects of our existence that we consider permanent fixtures. We take for granted the comforts and conveniences that surround us, failing to recognize they might disappear.
10 Things Everyone Takes for Granted That Could Disappear Tomorrow
This post originally appeared on A Dime Saved.
A Dime Saved
Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.