She Threatened Not To Pay For Her Son’s Wedding as Promised if They Won’t Let Her Invite Some Family Members

The original poster is a 54-year-old woman who has three kids. One of his sons, who he calls Caleb in her Reddit post, recently got engaged.

As they were planning for a wedding, OP offered to finance it, but under some conditions which were, unfortunately, met with some resistance from the bride-to-be and her family.

Two Not So Tough Conditions …

Caleb had been in a relationship with his fiancee for four years. When they got engaged OP offered to pay for their wedding, but under two conditions.

The first condition is that they have to use a wedding planner. OP says they need a wedding planner because they were going for a large ceremony, 300- 400 guests. Also, they were putting in a lot of money, so getting a professional to do all the planning was wise.

OP gives Caleb and Ashley a budget of $150K, but they have to also accept her second condition; she wants to invite eight relatives to the wedding. For many people, if someone is giving you all that money for your wedding, it would be fine to let the financier invite eight people, but Ashely was not buying it.

OP notes that these eight people are her uncles and aunts, who are close to them. Caleb knows these people well, and Ashley has met them several times. But, what makes these eight people close to family is how they helped OP earlier in life. She had a car accident that paralyzed her waist down. These relatives took care of her kids(Caleb included) and even supported her financially. They have maintained that close relationship ever since.

Besides, the wedding was already a big one, to begin with. They were already anticipating approximately 400 guests as Ashley came from a big family, and so did Caleb. Adding eight people to a list of 400 would probably go unnoticeable.

It Is My Day

OP says that he does not care about other wedding details; Caleb and Ashley can have everything they wish. They just needed to let OP invite eight people and have a professional planner on board.

Caleb accepted these conditions and said he saw no problem at all. He, however, says that Ashley, on the other hand, is not on the same page. She insists that OP should not be able to invite guests to the wedding, especially people she did not “know them well,” and it was “her” day

Ashley’s family says OP is an ***hole for wanting to bring eight people to the wedding. When asked to step in financially, they were unwilling.

Redditors Weigh In

One comment said, “It is odd how they do not see a reasonable ask of $150k for 8 people. They seem to want money and no obligations. The fiancee can also get to know them before the wedding if she wants to agree; I guess she doesn’t want to.”

Another added, “NTA. Caleb says he doesn’t care, but it makes Ashley uncomfortable since she doesn’t know them that well. With 400 guests, there is no way she will know everyone “well” or even at all. It’s a power play.”

Another said, “It’s not “HER” day; it’s “THEIR” day. The groom’s opinion matters too. What does she expect, that only her family should get invited? You’re more than generous in the amount you offer; you have a right to invite HIS FAMILY to show up. NTA.”

And lastly, “The bride is the definition of entitled. Accepting the gift of a 150k wedding but not allowing you to invite 8 relatives (which would be about 2% of the guest list) is ridiculous. Does she allow any “plus-1’s” or is there an interview/approval process for that? NTA.”


 Is OP wrong for giving these conditions and threatening to withdraw the financial gain if the conditions are not accepted? 


This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.

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Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.