Is he holding a grudge, or does he have a legitimate grievance?
A Reddit user has shared a story about how a 10-year-old grudge has caused a rift between her brother-in-law (BIL) and her family.
The Grudge Began With a Skid Loader
The OP explained that her dad and brother wanted to build a deck at her parent’s house ten years ago. They called the BIL to borrow a skid loader for the job, and he said no.
Later, they went to his house but found that he had gone out of town. They managed to convince his wife (OP’s sister) to let them borrow the skid loader.
During towing, the dad had an accident that totaled the skid loader, his truck, and the dumping trailer. The insurance barely covered medical expenses and truck repair costs. There was nothing left to cover the loader.
When the BIL came back, he was furious. He demanded payment, and when none was forthcoming, he cut ties with the family. He never attended any family event for ten years, although he allowed his wife to take the kids to such gatherings.
Now, the parents have their 50th anniversary coming up. The family has decided to hold a celebration and later send them on a cruise to Mexico. The total cost for the cruise is estimated at $3000, to be contributed by 20 family members, including the BIL’s family.
When BIL heard about this, he declined to be involved and told them to subtract his contribution from the money they should have paid him for totaling his loader (approximately $70,000). The OP thinks that the BIL is shallow for putting money ahead of family relationships.
She called him to tell him to get over himself, kill the grudge, and send in his contribution. The call was not well received. OP’s sister had confirmed attendance at the anniversary celebration, but after the call, she informed OP that she would not attend.
The OP wanted to know if she did wrong in telling the BIL to get over himself and forget about the grudge.
The Masses Weigh In
There was an overwhelming response from the Reddit community, with most users siding with the BIL. One user bluntly accused the family of stealing from the BIL.
“Your family stole $50k+ in work equipment from your BIL. …You and your family sound massively entitled, your BIL is smart to cut the lot of you clean off.”
They Could Have Lied to the Wife While Borrowing the Loader
Another user pointed out that OP’s father and brother showed up when the BIL was conveniently out of town. They may have lied to her sister. “I’d honestly be surprised if his wife knew much of the request….”
Another stated that the sister could have been easily bullied by her family, which is why she gave in to their demands. “Judging by op. I would say that the sister is easily bullied by this family …”
And, “I’m leaving open the possibility that they lied to the sister ….”
The BIL Should Have Divorced His Wife
A section of Reddit users believes that the whole family was out of line and the BIL should not have stayed married to his wife after that incident. One user stated, “The biggest surprise here is that he stayed married to OP’s sister….”
Another supported this sentiment saying, “Yes, very curious about that dynamic since she wound up allowing it behind his back!”
Some users came to support the wife, saying that she probably learned her lesson from this.
“I think the sis somewhat learned her lesson since she decided to side with her husband this time instead of her family. …You don’t mess with someone else’s stuff and then have the audacity to ASK FOR MORE MONEY …”
And, “Given how readily she told them she wasn’t coming, it sounds like she learned a lot from the experience too.”
Poverty Does Not Mean They Should Be Irresponsible
A user argued that although the family was poor, they should have paid something over time instead of brushing everything off, “I understand they are poor, but that doesn’t diminish a sense of responsibility…”
According to another user, instead of buying another truck, they should have paid for the property they damaged, “The medical expenses I can understand, but using that money to buy another truck instead of paying for the property that they damaged?”
OP Only Cares When They Want Money From the BIL
Another user noted that the OP only contacted the BIL when the family wanted money from him, “OP only cares now because they’re trying to get money out of BIL….”
They Probably Cost the BIL More Money
A user pointed out that since the BIL ran a construction company, they probably made him lose business, “Sounds like he ran a construction company, so they may have also coated he more in missed/delayed jobs till be could get replacement.”
An Apology Could Have Gone a Long Way
A user argued that the BIL was a good person since he never sued them, although the family never apologized or replaced his equipment, “Rather than accept what you and your family did was wrong … you decide to double down and try to justify the behavior…”
100% of the 7000+ comments from Reddit said the OP was in the wrong. Her dad should have replaced the skid loader before buying himself another truck. Sure, he needed it for work, but what about the BIL, who also used the loader for work?
What are your thoughts on this story? Do you think the OP is justified to ask the BIL for his contribution and tell him to let go of the grudge after what they did to him?
Read the original post here.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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