We scoured the internet for behaviors by the male audience that come across as creepy to people of any other gender. Once again, Reddit was our go-to place, and we pulled together a list of top 20 things or incidents that have made women feel creepy or unsafe in the presence of men.
Let’s take a look at each one of these:
1. Stalking a Phone Girl at a Local Pizza Place
An incident reported by a Reddit user goes as follows:
“When I was 19, I was a phone girl at a local pizza place. I would answer the phone and take people’s orders for carryout or delivery. One time this guy called and said he was placing an order for delivery. By the end of the order he changed his mind and said he wanted to order carry out.
The dude shows up, and my coworker helps him, and he says, “You’re not the girl I talked to on the phone. I want to talk to that girl.” I realize he’s talking about me, and I ask what’s wrong. He then tells me he thinks I have a really soothing voice and should do ASMR. I was like ok, that’s weird but relatively harmless.
The guy gets his food and then leaves. We can see him sitting in his car for like 15 minutes. Then he came back in the store with a map and started asking me a bunch of weird questions for directions to somewhere. I said “Why can’t you just use Google Maps? I see you have an iPhone” and pointed to his phone. Then, as I point I see him try to hide the screen. He had the audio recorder pulled up! This weirdo came back into the store with a thinly veiled excuse of asking for directions because he was trying to record my voice!!! It was so creepy. I told him “Wait one second” and went to the back and told some coworkers what was going on. A friend of mine who worked in the kitchen, a 6’2 muscle head walked out and was like “I’M GREAT WITH DIRECTIONS. MY GIRLFRIEND IS TERRIBLE AT THEM (while gesturing to me). LET ME HELP YOU!” Suddenly, the guy didn’t need directions anymore.
So yeah. I’m going to say whatever that was, that was creepy.”
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that this was a really creepy situation to be in.
2. Sexiest Voice at a Senior Management Meeting
Another incident was highlighted as a user commented saying:
“Once, my job had the awful idea of doing a jokey ‘awards’ thing during a senior management meeting. A (60+-year-old) director of the company declared me the “sexiest voice.” I was the most junior person in a room full of upper management and one of the few women, and of course, no other “award” was remotely sexual. Literally, no one thought it was a big deal because, for some reason, it seemed like s**ualizing someone’s voice was ok. I had to continue communicating with the man over the phone for my job. It felt extremely icky.”
The community responded with their own creepy incidents at the workplace and agreed with the above user, saying that this was indeed a creepy situation.
3. Attention Seeking Behavior
A Reddit user spoke about attention-seeking behavior, saying:
“Continue trying to get your attention when you are not engaging with them.”
This brought our attention to an incident which was reported as:
“This^ one day at my new job as a med lab scientist, I’m sitting at the microscope, minding my own business, analyzing patient blood smears. All of a sudden, I hear from behind me, from across the lab, “Hey, you redhead, hi hello, red there lady, hi!!” It was not only rude to shout at me if I knew him, but I had no reason to ever interact with this man; he worked in a different lab but had to come into my lab to grab his samples from the central processing area. I was majorly creeped out. After I ignored his shouting, he never came up to me, never introduced himself to me, never asked my name. But when we occasionally crossed paths in the hallway, he would always make eyes at me and go out of his way to be obnoxiously friendly, even after I continually ignored him. He was a very creepy old man, and none of the younger women I worked with liked him as they all had similar experiences.”
With 31k hits, this proved to be another creepy situation for women.
4. Massaging Shoulders at Work or in a Social Space
Much to our surprise, this is a creepy behavior that men are entirely unaware of.
“I’m a woman, and my male coworker who had a very obvious crush on me (multiple people had mentioned it to me) once came into my office without knocking (the door was closed because I had to finish a project and didn’t want distractions), slowly walked in and started rubbing my shoulders. My desk didn’t face the door, and I had music playing, so I didn’t see or hear him and only noticed when he started touching me! I immediately said, “What are you doing?” multiple times very angrily, and he said, “Oh, you looked so tense!”. Then he got that I didn’t like that and was like, “Oh no, I didn’t mean anything by it!” and left awkwardly.”
Another similar incident came to light: “Had a call center director who would spend a significant chunk of his day walking the floors so people could schmooze him. Like he’d walk up to a team, put his arms on the shoulder of a woman, calling everyone’s attention as he talked about what a great smile she has. Isn’t that a great smile? And then he’d move on to the next HR violation as I went, “Am I the only one who found that extremely uncomfortable?”
The comments on both threads largely agreed that this was indeed creepy behavior.
5. Ask You Out at the Oddest Spots or Situations
This came to the surface as another creepy thing that men do. As a Reddit member commented saying, “Ask you out while you are at work or a situation in which you cannot leave,” it brought to light a lot of similar incidents.
One user commented sharing their experience:
“Uh, I had a friend who would do this. We would go to a bar, and he would spend the whole night trying to get the waitress. Like, dude, there is a whole building full of women here who want to meet men and be social, Why spend all your time on the one woman forced to be here?”
Another one commented:
“I used to work in a urology clinic. I would take patients back to their rooms and prep them for various procedures. This typically involved washing the area where the urethra is and often injecting numbing gel into the opening to help with scopes or sounds going in during the procedure. One guy in particular used to come in monthly for a urethral dilatation, which involves a series of gradually larger sounds being pushed into the urethra to help dilate strictures. After several months of him coming in for these procedures, he asked me out on a date during his checkout. He straight up asked the receptionist on his way out to go get me and then asked me out right there at the desk. I was around 23 at the time, and he was like 45. He also did have an oddly massive flaccid p***s, and the whole thing was just terrible.”
After going through a bunch of similar comments, a user said:
“There’s not really a good time to do this ever, but if there are any guys reading this that absolutely have to shoot your shot with someone that is working, just slide them a note or a business card and say something super quick and brief and don’t wait for a response. if they found you attractive too they’ll hit you up, otherwise take the loss”
6. Looking for Escorts at the Wrong Places
Led largely by bartenders and waitresses, there surfaced a debate about men looking for escorts. This debate was stirred by one comment:
“If you are a bartender or waitress, they will only tip you if you talk to them or give out your number. Like no you can keep your tip. I am working; I’m not here to keep you company. You can go find an escort if you want paid company.
I don’t mind having conversations with customers. I enjoy talking with people and learning about their experiences. It’s when men use money as a weapon so you don’t reject them and they think women simply won’t say no if money is involved cause we are in a job where tips are Important.
Example: ” I will give you $20 if you give me your number.”
“I will give you $20 if you tell me your name.”
Or just any scenario where they use tip money to be able to s**ualize you.”
The community unanimously declared it to be a creepy situation for women.
7. The Creepy Uber Driver
In the wake of carpool services, this is another situation for women to be wary of. A Reddit user shared their experience as follows:
“My Uber driver and I got along really well one time. He was telling me about his family and I was telling him about mine. We didn’t exchange addresses or locations or anything.
He eventually asked, in less direct terms, if my family was bigoted at all (he was black). So we talked a bit about that and then he changed the subject.
He waited till I was out of the car before asking me out for coffee.
I said no, cuz I’m monogamously married, but I really appreciate him waiting until I was literally out of the car.”
As a top commenter, this user was able to encourage other users to share similar experiences. Needless to say, it was one of the top creepy things men do.
8. Waiting on a Barista
Although unusual, waiting for baristas to finish their working hours is a creepy thing to do. This brought to our attention the following comment:
“When I was around 20 or 21 I was working as a barista. We had floor-to-ceiling windows on one side of our café in a busy area. Some guy, maybe mid-30s) was walking by outside and it looked like he was coming into our store. We locked eyes so I offered a half-hearted customer service smile as one does. He turned the corner to the front of our store (blocked partially by a brick wall, no windows) but never came inside. I didn’t think much of it and just continued on with my day.
About 3-4 hours later, my shift was over. I walked outside to the parking lot and I heard a “Finally! You’re off work!” I turned around, expecting to see a coworker or maybe a regular customer I was friends with or something.
Nope. It was the guy I locked eyes with for .5 seconds several hours earlier. He was sitting at a table on our patio but was blocked by the brick wall so I couldn’t see him through the windows from inside the store. I was really startled and didn’t know what to say.
He then proceeded to tell me that he saw me smile at him through the window so decided to WAIT OUTSIDE OF MY WORK FOR SEVERAL HOURS SO HE COULD TALK TO ME! I mean, it would be one thing to come into the store, buy a coffee, and try to talk to me (although I still wouldn’t appreciate that while at work) but this man waited outside of my work for several hours.
I was so creeped out and made an excuse like “Oh actually I’m just adjusting the umbrellas on the patio. I still have work.” And then I went straight back inside and to the back where I waited for a full hour until my coworkers confirmed he was gone. I was so scared and had male coworkers walk me to my car for like a week.”
9. Showing Up at Work, Unannounced
Similar to the above, showing up at work or asking for needless work-related information is creepy behavior. This usually starts off as:
“Hey, where do you work? Oh, which one? Yeah, there’s like six of them…..which one do you work at? No, I won’t show up at your work lol hahaha hey….. hey…. hey…. did you block me? What did I do wrong?”
Here’s a detailed incident as shared by one of the commenters:
“I literally had this convo with a coworker. She has a part-time job at a Kwik Trip and was talking about it to me. I asked which one she worked at. She dropped her voice and glanced around to tell me. Then she told me she doesn’t tell men usually because they have a tendency to just show up. She trusts me, though. Dudes are weird.”
This also encouraged a guy to share something he did himself:
“So, I’m not proud to admit this, but… I was the guy in this scenario once, many years ago.
One night, there was a woman who was riding the same bus as me. We got into a brief exchange, which started innocuously enough. Then, at some point, I asked her what she does for work. She mentioned a business with multiple locations, and without thinking first, I asked her which one. She hesitated before she replied by saying something to the effect of, “It’s not really something I want to talk about with strangers.” I quickly brought the conversation to an end after this and played it cool until the bus made it to my stop, so as to avoid causing her any further discomfort. She said bye, and I sort of half-heartedly waved back.
To tell you the truth, I knew the moment the words came out of my mouth that I had just asked a very intrusive question, and I immediately recognized that it made her uncomfortable. I’m not even sure why I broached it in the first place. My handling of it afterwards was geared towards counteracting the impression that I was coming onto her, so as to minimize whatever unease I may have already caused. I don’t remember if I apologized, but I did feel bad about how I must’ve made her feel. I’ve since been much more cautious about the questions I ask people who I don’t know yet. I strive to be an empathetic person and to always be mindful of the boundaries of the people around me. I am far from perfect, but I try really hard to be the best version of myself that I can be.”
On the plus side, he recognized his behavior as creepy. That’s the least we can ask for, isn’t it?
10. Asking, “Where’s My Hug?”
When men ask, “Where’s my hug?” it comes off as really creepy for a majority of the women.
As a user shared:
“I used to know a guy in college who did this, and it made my skin crawl.”
Another said:
“There’s a David Mitchell line I quote in these situations: ‘I don’t like it when humans touch me.’ It’s great. It makes it not about that person specifically, and it’s funny so people don’t hear it nearly as aggressively as just ‘no’.”
One of them shared:
“Had a dude at work that close hugged lots of servers and hostesses every time they came to work. It was weird. I only throw hugs for good friends I haven’t seen for months or friends going through it.
I was at a business meeting for an internship, and the older man kept pushing like, “Ohhh, I hug everyone,” and everyone watched me intently, urging me to hug this man. It made me very uncomfortable, and I didn’t go back. I don’t care if people are just “huggers.” You can’t really force that on non-huggers.
There’s definitely a bunch of old perverts out there that have figured out that they can say that to a young girl and have an excuse to touch them with a guilt trip locked and loaded if you say no because they’re “just a lonely old man”. One of my childhood friends grew up to have very large breasts. This was something that happened to her non-stop in our teenage years.”
So, if you’re a guy reading this, please know that this comes off as really creepy.
11. Not Taking No for an Answer
Much to our surprise, a common thing for men to do is to persist whenever a woman declines their offer. There were a lot of incidents that the Reddit community shared. Here are a few of them:
“Not backing off when a woman indicates in any way whatsoever verbally or physically she isn’t interested, yet they continue or think they can continue to harass you or change your mind.”
“I genuinely have no idea how there are guys out there with this much confidence. If I make anything that could even be considered as a move, and I get rejected, then I am getting as far away from that situation as I possibly can immediately and cringing about it in the shower/morning commute for years to come.”
“Had a guy at the grocery store recently do this. Refused to give him my number because I wasn’t interested, he tried to argue and gaslight me, saying that he didn’t even want to date me, just wanted to make friends. I respectfully declined; he then proceeded to follow me through the store and blocked my way with his cart, saying, “Unfortunately, I have to insist on getting to know you.” Then I just yelled at him, and the staff kicked him out. It happens to me all the time. It’s always the same. I’m so tired. I’m starting to really despise men because of it, even when they’re being genuinely nice. It always starts with, “What aisle is the bread? Where’s the right train station? Which bus do I have to take? Where’s this address?” I really don’t want to help people anymore.”
“I legit had an older guy ask me to go out to dinner with him while I was working yesterday. I’m gay, so I laughed and said, ‘Not sure my girlfriend would appreciate that, sorry, no.’ And he just calmly responded with, ‘Well, I’m not asking her, I’m asking you.’ So I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘I also wouldn’t appreciate doing that to her. Gonna have to RESPECTFULLY decline your offer.’ He let it go after that but read the room.”
12. Talking About Disrespecting Other Women
Much to our surprise, men actually dig up dirt about other women, expecting a pat on the back. This came to our attention when a user commented:
“Talk to me (a male) about how much they disrespect women like I’m ‘in on it,’ especially if I’ve never met the guy.”
Similar experiences were shared as:
“I usually just make them feel awkward by aggressively changing the subject or being like “word, well anyway…” and then they’re stuck there without the validation they desperately craved. These guys want other people to accept their worldview so badly so I refuse to let them have it. Watching them get silently frustrated is funny because I’m not outright being rude, but I’ve completely dismissed their opinion. Even better if it’s in a group conversation.”
A wary user remarked with:
“While I don’t go out of my to do it when I notice it, it usually me making mental notes and challenging the statements in a non-judgemental and non-hostile behavior to see what I can profile, and that knowledge usually dictates how I handle them or how I talk to their partners if we ever meet. Sometimes you have to entertain some misogyny under men first to get things rolling, and while I can’t guarantee results, I like to think that being able to present a kernel of self-reflection in such moments will do something eventually.”
In short, this is something creepy about men.
13. Helping Women Who Don’t Need It
No matter how noble your intentions are, if you are a guy reading this, please be careful about whom to offer your help.
One annoyed user stirred the debate on this topic by commenting:
“I (31, F) was walking up the stairs at a train station carrying a large suitcase the other day. A guy wanted to help and just took my suitcase from me without asking. I had to tell him 3 times I was okay and didn’t need his help. The suitcase wasn’t particularly heavy, just big. Don’t just grab other people’s stuff without asking! I know he just wanted to help, but still!”
Seconding this, one user replied: “Yup, those people aren’t wanting to help; they want to be seen as helping and receive the gratitude they feel they deserve.”
However, this appeared to be more common than we thought, as several comments received high engagement. Some of them are as follows:
“I commuted to London for years and would often ask ladies with pushchairs or old people with heavy luggage if they wanted a hand. It would never occur to me to just grab it off a stranger. That’s just…weird. Also, you carry the thing, say, “You’re welcome,” and then move on. Hanging around would, it seems to me, just give out creepy vibes.”
“I’ve had my suitcase grabbed in foreign countries by “helpful” locals looking for a tip for carrying 4 feet. It really p****s me off. As for theft, if anyone stole my suitcase, they’d end up with a bunch of ugly clothes and comfortable shoes. Be my guest. I’ll claim it on my insurance and buy even uglier clothes and more comfortable shoes.”
“I was once at the loading area of a grocery store where I saw a guy insist on loading an old lady’s bags into the trunk of the car she was next to. And he talked over her when she tried to tell him to stop. It wasn’t till he’d finished that she was able to work in “That’s not my car!” The area had been really busy & whoever had driven with her hadn’t been able to pull up yet. I don’t know where the driver of the car he’d loaded had been, but this only took a few seconds.”
A coping mechanism adopted by another user was shared in another comment, saying:
“I’ve gotten into the habit of just flat ignoring people like that when they turn expecting a formal bow and grateful thank you card filled with $100 bills. Their confusion and fuming face is so intoxicating.”
Even then, this does not offer a lot of comfort to those experiencing this creepy behavior.
14. Mumbling Compliments
Reddit user commented: “Mumble something quietly under their breath while you walk by, like, “Wow, you’re so beautiful.” Jesus, if you’re going to compliment a stranger, could you at least not try to come across as a serial killer?”
This got a lot of women talking, one of whom said:
“I once was walking through a mall while having severe pain in my right hip from a torn labrum. I was starting off into the distance while walking, focusing on making it to my destination, grimacing occasionally. A man walks by me and quietly says “{dog}” Mkay haha”
Agreeing with the above experiences, another story emerged as follows:
“Seriously, this. It’s also really not that hard, nor would most ppl be offended or creeped out if you just give them a quick “Hey, sorry to bother you, just wanted to let you know your eyes are beautiful” or something along those lines.
I’m sure it’s a little easier for me since I’m a woman vs. a man doing it, but if you go with the very chill, casual approach, I find most ppl really appreciate a direct compliment. If you make it quick and not over the top, it shouldn’t come off as creepy.
Under their breath, tho? That’s so creepy wtf. I get maybe having social anxiety or something to that effect, but that’s just not the way to do it.”
Overall, this did not seem very common, but it was entirely creepy.
15. Sending Unsolicited Private Pictures
Surprisingly, this was a common thing for men to do.
“Like y’all be airdropping them. I had a guy tell me that women appreciate it cause they wanna know what they’re working with. Nobody gonna work if that’s your opening.”
“We had to kick a couple of guys out of the bar once because they wanted to send private pics to one of our waitstaff… She was 16. She said she was 16. These were 30+ year-old men. They kept wanting to send them and hook up with her. What?! I’ve seen a lot of creepy guys, but never as many as working at the bar. SOOO many. Even when they first show up after work before their first drink, so it’s not the alcohol… And taking “no” for an answer? Rare.
It is safe to assume here that men are fully aware of the level of creepiness that this behavior emits. Yet, this evil exists.
16. Objecting to Your Way of Life
Dense men think the way to a woman’s heart is by being creepy. A noteworthy comment on this was as follows:
“So casually steamroll your objections to their attentions. They’ll drive you home; it’s right around the corner. Nah, don’t waste money on the app; he’s going that way anyway! Don’t worry, he’s not that kind of guy, he’s married! Etc, etc, etc…., until you hide in the restroom and call a friend or relative to pick you up instead.”
To this, a user replied:
“Ugh, this happened to me on a first date with a guy last month. I wasn’t feeling it, and I had only met him twice, so I decided to take an Uber home because I didn’t want this guy I had just met to know where I lived. He kept insisting that he could take me home and that it was “stupid to spend money on a ride when he could give me one for free.” Yeah, bud, I think I’ll be fine.”
While another commented:
“It’s the benefit of the doubt to them that they are just being dense – and at the same time, surprisingly often baffling enough to get them to stop. It’s my space, and I will take it back from you. (Admittedly, take care this is in a somewhat safe space. But …it’s surprisingly less aggression when you start to become a boulder).”
17. Giving an “Off” Vibe
As women, we catch the energy of people around us. Our “creepy behavior” detectors are mostly the vibes we catch from different men. A similar experience was shared by one Reddit user:
“I have a coworker. I had never met him (officially) before we started working at the same place 2 years ago. He gave me a weird Vibe from the get-go, but I just avoided him as much as I could, which was easy cause we don’t have the same job at our facility.
After a while, he starts talking about 2 brothers that I do know and how he was friends with 1 of them – okay, fine, a little creepy, you know I knew them too. Then he asked when I moved from X address where I lived with my ex?
I shut that Down and Straight out said that was a creepy comment that made me uncomfortable.
I now avoid him even more at work, but a few months pass, and he starts asking how long I lived at Y address, and that it was then I was hanging out with a ‘specific group of people’. I told him how tf he knew about 2 past addresses and who my friends were Since I NEVER met him before?!
Oh, he and that 1 brother sometimes talk about me. I have not spoken to either of those 2 brothers for 5 years.”
The response to the above was as follows:
“This dude sounds like he’s trying to take a student loan out under your name or something lmao ‘Which of these addresses have you been associated with? What was the street name of your first home associated with this account?’”
Another experience was shared by a user who said:
This is serious. My wife’s older sister had a stalker who followed her for years before finally introducing himself. She had no idea, and they dated briefly before she shut it down. He broke into her apartment one night when she had a friend over, abducted her and shot her, then shot himself. The police determined that he had been moving for several years to stay close to her. He most likely saw her at a gym initially. Stalking should always be taken seriously because you have no idea how far they are willing to take it.
18. Inviting Himself to Our Homes
After showing up uninvited at workplaces, men are apparently also inviting themselves to women’s homes. This was new for us and the Reddit community as well. But one user shared her experience as follows:
“Stand outside my door for hours at a time wearing a tattered dark cloak, waiting for an invitation to come inside. Really creepy.”
19. Looking at and Licking Lips
Body language speaks volumes about a person, and this is a huge no-no for us. The community was unanimous about their opinion on this:
“Men looking at women and licking their lips. JFC.. creepy, sleazy creeps. Edit to add. There’s a difference between just licking your lips and the sleazy, creepy way some men do it.”
“One time, I was at the gym, and in between sets, I licked my lips, but as I did it, a girl just like popped into my view, and we made eye contact. I really legit did not mean to look weird. I just licked my lips cause they were dry, and I was doing a heavy set of a lift. And she just looked at me as I did it, and I happened to look in that direction. She didn’t say anything, but I felt weird. It can happen by accident, idk about other guys, but that’s my experience.”
Creepy, isn’t it?
20. Staring for Too Long
This is also part of the body language as a user comments:
“Staring too long. Glance is fine, but staring too long just comes off as sus.”
This was an obvious creepy behavior, and the Reddit community couldn’t agree more:
“I have bad anxiety, and so even if I just looked someone’s way, if they look at me, my knee-jerk reaction is to quickly look away. A lot of times, I feel like this makes it seem like I just got caught staring even though I wasn’t. So, if you look over at a guy and see him quickly look away, does that come off as they were being creepy? If so, what would you consider the appropriate course of action?”
“I actually had this happen a few years ago. Was literally just zoning out while pumping gas into my car, had some things on my mind from work and a few other things going on in my life. I was just zoned out, and I guess it looked like I was staring at a girl at one of the other pumps. She literally screamed out, “OMG you old creep, stop looking at me!” I turned around, looking over my shoulder for who she was talking to, and then she pointed right at me and shouted that it was me. A guy jumped out of the car quickly, but I guess he saw the confused look on my face and just calmly came over and asked if I was staring at her. I guess my stuttering response that I was literally just zoning out and not looking at anyone made him understand, and she quickly calmed down after he went over to her. I get it, I really do, but it honestly does happen.”
Guess people can zone out, too.
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