20 Behaviors That Will Make People Instantly Hate You

There are certain actions and qualities that make us cringe and question a person’s character. It’s like they’re waving a flag that says, “Warning: Lack of decency ahead.”

One Redditor asked, “What immediately makes you think less of someone?”

This post had thousands of comments, and we have listed the 20 ultimate things that make you go from a solid 10 to nothing but a 0!

1. Littering

Team of young volunteers picking up litter in the park.
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When you see someone tossing their trash all willy-nilly, what’s the first thing that pops into your mind? Probably something like, “Wow, this person has zero respect for the environment, or anyone else for that matter.” And you know what? You’re not wrong.

One user said, “Anyone who litters. I hate people who litter in nature the most but also people in indoor places who leave a huge mess and then go, “It’s okay; they’re paid to clean it up”.”

Another added, “Was on a date with a girl once, and we were driving in my car. It was pretty messy, and she found an empty plastic bag and started picking up the trash around the front seat. I was a little embarrassed but mostly thankful. I thought it was a kind gesture.

Until she rolled down my window and tossed the bag out. That was it. Last date. That’s a garbage thing to do.”

2. Cruelty

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Cruelty is like a neon sign flashing, “Warning: This person has no empathy or compassion.” When we see someone intentionally inflicting pain on others, it’s a major red flag.

A discerning Reddit user commented, “Pointless cruelty. If you need an ego boost, do the decent thing and work for it. Don’t punch others down to make yourself feel better.”

Another replied, “Cruelty in-jokes, too. “Hahaha, aren’t I funny? BANTER!”

Nah, dude, you’re just mean and an a**h**e, but you’ve learned you can get away with it if you laugh loudly and engineer a situation where the victim feels like they’ll be a stick in the mud for voicing their displeasure at your “joke”.

99% of the time, those “banter” dudes have bugger-all personality beyond their dated, mean-*ss sense of “humour” as well. A real friendship will occasionally involve a little light ribbing where you know everyone, including the b*tt of the joke, will find it funny. That doesn’t give you clearance to make mean, barely humourous statements your whole personality.”

Someone wrote, “So true – one example is when guys “flirt” by making fun of other people around you. So gross and so rude. I immediately think they’re a POS.”

3. Mistreating Animals

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Our treatment of animals speaks volumes about our character. The way we care for, and respect animals reveals our capacity for kindness. So, when someone mistreats animals, it raises some pretty serious concerns about their moral compass.

One said, “Animals is a huge one for me. You don’t have to love them, but if you go out of your way to be cruel to them then we have a problem. They’re living creatures deserving of our respect.”

Someone else added, “Funny this question and answer comes up today. I’m not one to hurt animals, and I’m a pretty passive guy. Yesterday at work, we found a rat’s nest. My team leader usually pours boiling water down ants’ nests to get rid of them. Yesterday he poured boiling water down a rat’s hole. What made it worse was he wanted me to be part of what he was doing, I walked away. I can’t look or think about him the same if that’s how he treats innocent animals.”

4. Disliking Your Partner

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A Reddit user wrote, “Being a d**k to your wife/husband/partner?”

Another added, “This, or people who make the “I hate my partner” type of jokes. Why be with someone you don’t like?”

Someone else replied, “My dad was friends with a guy who outright hated his wife. He was also lazy, and she cooked well and kept his house spotless.”

Disliking your partner isn’t just about your relationship woes. It’s about what it reveals about your ability to foster healthy connections. It’s a surefire way to make others question your emotional intelligence and capacity for love.

5. Being Mean to Your Family

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One Redditor stated, “I used to have a friend who spoke terribly to her mum, like in a very verbally ab*sive way. The first time I heard her speak like this was on my way to a sleepover with her, so I couldn’t really escape for a good 24 hours. While I was there, she kicked her dog, spat on a sleeping cat, and called her super lovely sister a lot of horrible slurs I won’t repeat. She also locked me in a cabin for 2 hours while she made her mum take her shopping.

Safe to say, I lost all respect I had for her. I immediately hated her, and we’d been friends for 3 years. Had just never seen her interact with her family and pets. I never spoke to her again. After she let me out of the shed, that is”

Someone on Reddit said, “I see where you coming from. Let’s say person A don’t have any strings to his family members anymore due to trauma, but the family won’t acknowledge any harm given. Who’s in the wrong who’s in the right?

Person A was emotionally and verbally abused as a child, privacy was taken, but besides the anxiety and depression had a normal childhood, at least in the eye of the parents.

But years later doesn’t talk to them. So now the parents feel neglected and view Person A as toxic for not visiting and talking. It’s a tough one.”

Being mean to your family also raises questions about the kind of person you are at your core. It shows a lack of healthy communication, and that’s just plain wrong!

6. A Bad Friend

Angry friends having a serious conversation outdoors
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Someone commented, “For me, it’s how they treat their friends. There’s a good chance I’ll never meet their parents or siblings or exes; maybe they came from a really cr*ppy situation.

But with friends, usually, there’s more chances to see how they interact in those relationships. I once knew someone who had plenty of friends that I thought were delightful, I didn’t sense any tension when she’d interact with them, but the minute those friends left, she’d always have something petty or mean to say about them.

At first, you can tell yourself that maybe those friends actually were kind of weird or you have a closer relationship, but after a while, you realize that the person is the problem, and they’re probably saying those same things about you behind your back.”

Our friendships are built on trust, support, and mutual respect. When someone falls short in these areas, it clearly indicates a one-sided friendship, so watch out for that!

7. Facts, Not Opinions!

young woman holding lightbulb looking thoughtful
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One said, “Too stupid to change your opinions when new facts come in.”

Another responded, “Can’t have an opinion about facts. That’s the problem right there.”

A user responded, “Cognitive Dissonance is exactly this, refusing to consider evidence that’s contradictory to their belief.”

Now, it’s hard to view a person like that in a positive light. How can they be trusted to contribute constructively to conversations if they can’t adapt their views based on new knowledge?

8. Idolizing the Wrong People

Young handsome caucasian man scolding someone very angry
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Idolizing the wrong people isn’t just about your personal preferences. It’s about what it reveals about your ability to differentiate between positive and negative influences.

Someone shared, “When they idolize toxic people.”

Another person added, “I agree! I’ve never understood why people idolize others. At the end of the day, you don’t know who these people really are. They could be complete d***s. Like, it’s awesome to draw inspiration from people, but to idolize/worship them is just weird.

I know someone who would idolize random people he met, and whenever he realized that they weren’t perfect, they had flaws like everyone else, he’d ghost them. Myself included.”

One user shared, “All those young men who went out protesting Andrew Tate getting arrested. Bunch of sad little boys.”

9. The Wait Staff!

couple tipping waitress
Image Credit: PavelVinnik
via DepositPhotos.com.

It’s a huge red flag when we see someone mistreating servers, belittling their efforts, or speaking down to them!

One Reddit user wrote, “Being rude to servers/waitstaff”

Another added, “Big one. I’d add cashiers, etc, too. Being rude to people doing their job is just men, and I immediately lose all respect.”

Someone said, “It’s cowardly, too, because they do it in part because they know the person on the receiving end can’t really retaliate.”

10. Being Unfaithful

third wheel in couple
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Being unfaithful to your partner is like waving a red flag that screams, “Warning: Disloyalty and dishonesty ahead.”

One wrote, “People who are okay with or excuse cheating on their partner.”

Another added, “Dealing with this type of situation now. My gf’s sister is married & is actively cheating going out in public with other guys. Bad guys in fact. I can’t even look her in the face anymore. It’s gotten to the point that I won’t have her over anymore. It’s so disrespectful.”

11. Alpha Males

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Calling yourself an “Alpha male” can come across as a desperate attempt to compensate for insecurities or a lack of self-confidence. Because true confidence is grounded in authenticity and the ability to empathize with others; it’s not about asserting dominance!

A Redditor wrote, “Anyone calling themselves an “Alpha” should be openly mocked.”

Another commented, “If anyone says they’re an alpha male, it’s automatically a red flag. You run from that person.”

12. Not Being Understanding

Skeptical brunette woman looking at camera
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Being understanding of others is like having a superpower. It shows that you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes to see things from their perspective. But when we encounter see who just can’t grasp that concept, it’s quite frustrating.

Someone said, “Failing to understand that understanding someone else doesn’t have to mean sharing their feelings and opinions.”

Someone else agreed and said, “Sympathy vs empathy. Not the same thing either. It’s empathy that makes you feel and understand another person, but that doesn’t mean you need to agree or feel the same way.”

13. No Eating Manners

person eating large sandwich
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Think about it; when someone slurps or shovels food into their mouth like it’s a race, it’s hard to take them seriously. They’ve completely forgotten that they’re sharing a meal with others! And that’s just rude.

One user said, “Eating with their mouth open.”

Another person shared similar thoughts and mentioned, “Yes, this and talking with food in their mouth.”

Someone else added, “Ah yes, I love trying to eat a meal, and then from across the room, my misophonia kicks in. I can no longer hear the person talking about their day across from me; all I can focus/hear is three tables over that Neanderthal making mouth noises.

It starts in the chest then shoots up to my head, all neurons firing wildly. My body temperature shoots through the roof, vasculature expanding. All the while, all I can hear, think, or see is that stupid mouth drilling right in to center of my brain and being.

My body, now engulfed in flames, heart raised, rational thought misted over in a sea of red mist, the only thing I can focus on is to get away or stop the noise. If I can’t get away, then violent ideations start on how I could stop the noise.. Such a lovely gift nature has given me. How about teleportation or flight next time boys?”

14. Bad Conversations

Couple in a fight.
Image Credit: Ollyy/Shutterstock.

Someone commented, “If they ask me a question about me, ignore my answer, and start talking about themselves….”

Another replied, “My neighbor does this! It’s so irritating! This time it got really irritating because he asked my dad how he was doing because we recently lost our uncle, whom we were very close with, and then right when he started answering, my neighbor started spouting off about himself and all this other nonsense. Like, wtf, dude!”

So, let’s brush up on some basic conversation manners and show a little respect when talking to others. It’s not about being a robot or following a script—it’s about genuinely listening and showing interest in what others say.

15. Hating Drama

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Someone said, “People that say they hate drama. They always seem to love drama.”

Another responded, “I hate being involved in the drama; I enjoy watching it, lol. They swear they don’t love drama; it loves them.”

Saying you hate drama but secretly loving it is like wearing a mask to hide your true colors. It’s like they’re pretending to be all zen and drama-free, but deep down, they thrive on chaos and conflict. Now, that’s a significant eye-roll moment!

16. Not Liking the Same Gender

Female friends shouting while standing on white background.
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Women who hate other women are their own worst enemies. It’s like they’ve bought into the idea of competition and tearing each other down instead of realizing that we’re all in this together.

A discerning Reddit user commented, “Yeah, that’s fair; honestly, women who say they don’t like other women are generally a red flag.”

Another replied, “I met two women the past year who told me they don’t like women. Because women apparently cause a lot of drama.

One of them wanted attention from all the men at work; it was embarrassing. Then she started loosing a lot of weight and body-shamed other people at work, including me. Starring at my b**bs, telling me and my male coworker that women with big b**bs had b**bs that contained a lot of fat, and that’s why big b**bs are gross.

The other one said she has borderline. Then I started to notice she criticized people all the time for small stuff, blowing things completely out of proportion. Then she and acted all surprised when people weren’t having it. They think they can just harass people and then act all surprised when people get angry.”

17. Narcissism

Fashion portrait of a beautiful girl with bright painted lips
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A Redditor wrote, “narcissistic behaviors hahaha.”

Another replied, “I cut ties with a friend who thought her obnoxious narcissist-in-training son’s behavior was cute and refused to correct or discipline him.”

It’s not about self-denial or diminishing your worth but about recognizing that there’s more to life than just you.

18. Politics

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Being too involved in politics means that you can’t see beyond the political circus and end up forgetting that there’s a whole world out there!

Someone on Reddit said, “When their entire personality is based on politics.”

Someone commented, “Or any other single issue. Activists are the worst kind of people as they always have an agenda, which precludes normal casual conversation with them…”

19. Treating Their Kids Badly

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Image Credit: Studio Romantic/Shutterstock.

One said, “Someone who makes a child in the room the b**t of a joke or otherwise embarrasses them. It is cruel.”

Another person pitched in to say, “My dad once “jokingly” tried to test a taser on me. My siblings tried dragging me within range. The whole time I was kicking, screaming, sobbing. Them? They were laughing.

When the volcano erupted in Hawaii, my dad “joked” about sacrificing me because I was a virgin. When I asked why my brother couldn’t be sacrificed, they took that to mean I had already had s** when all I meant was why it had to be me. Come to find out, Dad took bro to a prostitute soon as he turned 18 while Sis and I were barred from dating until 30. People who treat their kids like a punch line, especially at the kids’ expense, are garbage.”

Mistreating your kids is like a one-way ticket to “Parenting Fail” land. It’s like you forgot that your kids are human beings with feelings and needs. And that’s a major facepalm moment!

20. Talking Behind Other’s Backs

Unhappy Teenage Girl Being Gossiped About By Peers
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Gossiping is a black hole that sucks people into drama and negativity. These people have nothing better to do than poke their noses into other people’s business.

This user wrote, “If they talk or gossip about others behind their back, even if it’s seemingly inconsequential stuff like “guess what so and so said/did” or “so and so is d**b, etc. because of this that and the third.”

I have coworkers like that, and it’s like some people never grow and mature past high school.”

Another replied, “I have learned over the years that if someone is talking to you about someone else behind their back, you can be certain they are talking about you behind your back as well.”


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