If you’ve stumbled across this article, I am guessing you might want to know what it’s like not to find out the gender of your baby. Well, let me tell you. Not finding out your baby’s gender is not an easy decision to make!
Let’s face it, finding out the gender is one of the best and most fun parts of being pregnant! The sweet way of telling your partner/spouse, the blue/pink gender reveal, the handmade name sign of the baby going over the crib before birth, picking out perfect clothes, and a perfect coming home outfit…
That is all incredibly special. But as a mom of 5 who has been surprised 2 times by not knowing my baby’s gender, let’s get into why you might want to wait to find out until the baby’s birth!
1- No Negative Remarks
Correction- Okay, so you’re always going to have some type or form of a negative remark. My husband and I have 4 girls and 1 boy. When we were pregnant and expecting our 5th baby, we don’t know if it was our 5th girl or 1st boy! You can imagine the comments we got.
However, there was no comment to make about the baby because, if you don’t know the gender, you’re not tempted to tell people. So, you’ll still get the negative comments…”Oh, I hope it’s a….” but that’s all they are. Comments.
You can shrug it off because you really don’t know! The main point I am trying to make here is that no one can say anything directly related to the baby’s sex. So for instance, when we were pregnant with our 5th, our 1st boy, we don’t know the gender so we didn’t have to hear “Oh my, what is your husband going to do with 5 girls?!” or “I’m sure your husband is excited to have a boy finally!”. At least I avoided those comments…for the time being.
2- We Didn’t Always Have the Option To Know the Gender
Okay, so this is something I think about a lot. I think about the many women before me who have given birth that had no idea what they were having. They weren’t bothered by not knowing the gender…there was no way for them to know! They had to wait patiently and, they didn’t have a choice!
Yes, there is bloodwork that can be done now but did you know, that it wasn’t an option not that long ago? So, women really had no clue!
3- It Can Make Labor More Exciting
Okay, maybe this was true for only me, but I’ve heard a lot of moms say that this is true too! I actually don’t think I was thinking of the baby’s gender at all when I was in labor…I only had one goal: get the baby out and meet the baby!
But, in my head, and maybe for someone else, this will be the one thing that pushes them through to get baby Earthside! It’s a motivator! You’ve waited so long to meet your baby, you’re so close, you can do it!!
4. The Ultrasound or “Sneek Peek” Test Is Not Always Right
So, I’ve never experienced this first hand. But I’ve seen a lot of articles and a lot of Facebook posts about women getting ultrasounds and it turning out to be wrong. The same thing with the sneak peek test being wrong, too!
When it comes to ultrasounds, the umbilical cord can look like a penis, for example. There really are many ways that the ultrasound machine could be incorrect, most likely due to the position of the baby! And don’t get me started on the horror stories I’ve heard about those Sneak Peek tests being wrong! For example, I’ve heard of you submit it around your husband it will be tampered with male DNA, and come back and say you are having a boy when in fact, it may be a girl.
5- You Simply Won’t Regret the Moment You Meet Your Baby
When it’s all said and done, you’re going to remember the exact moment you met your baby boy or girl, and all of the wonders that you previously had will be gone! It was such a special moment for me when I gave my final push and the doctors said “It’s another girl!!” I was overjoyed, and so was my husband!
From my experience, it was 100% worth it and when I look back, I think of the initial conversation my husband and I had about not finding out the gender, but that’s really it. Things can really stress you out and put more anxiety on yourself, so I tried not to think about it too much!
I did have the thought of finding out even though my husband didn’t want to know. But I couldn’t in good conscience find out, and not tell him. I knew that I would either tell him my accident or just beg him to let me tell him. So, it was the right decision for me to just support him in that decision and not find out either, and it was such an amazing surprise!
Final Thoughts on Not Finding Out the Gender of Your Baby
It is hard not knowing the gender if that’s what you decide! And is not something that is for everyone! As I stated before- it’s not an easy decision to come to, especially if you have one person who doesn’t want to find out the gender and one person who does. Someone somewhere is going to have to make a compromise whether it’s big or small- or you’re both going to have to agree! So make sure you and your spouse are on the same page!
Have you or anyone you know waited until birth to find out the gender? What was that like for you? I have a feeling that not finding out the gender is in the minority these days! Let me know in the comments!
Related posts: 5 Great Reasons To Consider Keeping Your Baby Name A Secret
When we had our first child we did not know the sex and it was exciting and fun to meet our daughter.
With the second child we agreed on the same approach, however when they saw me striding back into the hospital after the ultrasound nobody doubted I was there to find out the sex. I am a proud daughter daddy.
However keeping this from my wife. Discussing baby names and all the other things getting ready for a new addition were awkward. The mistake I made was in not being honest about it. Never good in a marriage. But I had to spend days debating boys names which were never going to be used. The only fair thing was to concede all of these decisions to my wife, which is what I did.. Of 45 years now. The devil on my shoulder said tell your wife she can pick the name if it was a boy and I would pick the girls name. Fortunately my better angels walloped that idea and anything like it. I wa thrilled when our daughter was born and happy to not be keeping secrets.