When I got pregnant with my first child, we knew we had to save money. We had been bopping around before then, putting money on credit cards and paying it off, taking some money and putting it into savings, taking it out again. 

When we realized we needed to save more money for the baby, we hit a snag. I am naturally frugal and have an easier time, just NOT spending money. My husband is not a big spender, but he occasionally buys a coffee, a danish, a pricey ingredient at the store.

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As we continued to bicker, I became more controlling, and he became more defensive- “You’re not my mother” became a common refrain. When he came home with flowers for me in an effort to appease me, it just escalated the situation!  

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We were heading down a dark road, and it had to stop. All our interactions were becoming about money, and the “SAVINGS” was a big, black cloud that hung over our marriage. We didn’t know how to get there, and we were fighting as we tried to figure it out. 

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So we decided to do something we had never done before: We made a budget. (Cue the music). And it worked. We stopped fighting.

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By creating a budget we were able to take the emotions out of the money which left us with nothing to fight about. 

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Why did this work? Because it was really never about the money. It rarely is. It was about the emotions that money evokes.  

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