A Reddit user shared a story about how he was ‘forced’ to uninvite his sister-in-law to his wedding because he feared a confrontation between her and his mother.
According to the OP, his mother is a bit eccentric and loves to cause drama. The OP has an older brother (Jack) who is the golden boy of the family. Jack was to be married to Jill and when he announced their engagement the OP’s mother became jealous. She started talking ill behind Jill’s back and sometimes to her face. Jill never retaliated.
When they got married, the mother’s behavior worsened to the point that she ruined their wedding day. When Jack announced that they were having a baby the mother’s behavior suddenly changed and she wanted to become Jill’s best friend. When she gave birth the behavior turned back to animosity until Jack and Jill stopped talking to her.
The OP is in close contact with the mother and speaks with his brother and Jill constantly. The OP recently got engaged to his partner Laura and started planning their wedding. He asked Jack to be the best man and Jack agreed.
Wedding Dress Shopping
One day Laura comes home from wedding dress shopping and looks stressed out. She was with her future mother-in-law when the MIL made a comment that upset her. She said she couldn’t wait to put Jill in her place at Laura’s wedding. The OP and his family became concerned that his mother will ruin the wedding because of her feud with Jill. After discussing it, they agreed not to invite Jill to prevent such a situation from occurring.
When the OP told Jack that they were not inviting Jill Jack became upset. He told the OP that if their mother could not hold her drama for a day the OP should consider reassessing who to disinvite to the wedding. He told the OP that if Jill was not invited to the wedding he would also not attend.
The OP knows his mother is wrong but he feels that it is important that she attends his wedding.
Later Jill texted the OP and told him that she understood his decision and would try to talk with Jack. The OP wanted to know if he was wrong in disinviting Jill to their wedding to prevent a feud between her and his mother.
The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community blamed the user with many arguing that he was rewarding a bully and punishing the victim. One person said, “You are punishing the victim and rewarding the abuser.” Another argued, “Jack is right. You are punishing the victim of bullying and abuse and rewarding your mom’s terrible behavior. Thank goodness Jill has a husband to stand up for her. Laura obviously does not.”
“Well, there seems to be a definite pattern of behavior here, but I’m curious why you’d choose to reward your mother’s continued terrible, bullying behavior and punish people whose only offense seems to be preventing your mother from marrying Jack (or at least remaining the love of his life)? In case you haven’t realized this yet: your mother’s behavior is neither normal, nor acceptable. It is not simply a mother loving her son too much and worrying that he married the wrong person. It isn’t a mom who just wants her son to be happy or who is worried she’ll lose her son to a woman she doesn’t like and isn’t able to get along with. She is a bully, who decided Jack was hers and that no one else could have him,” another user stated.
Your Mom Will Turn the Occasion To Make Herself the Focus
Another pointed out that the mom will find a way to make herself the center of focus, “She’s already taken that joyful, happy occasion and made it about herself. I mean, I’m guessing you have said absolutely nothing to your mom just how out of line that was. They’re out looking to buy the dress she says “I Do” in and your mom decides it’s about her and make herself the focus.”
Another user advised the OP to come up with some form of compromise that factors in everyone, “You are punishing Jack and Jill when your mother is the problem. You could invite your mother to the ceremony and Jill to the reception or something, but instead, you jump straight to uninviting someone who is completely innocent in the situation.”
Confront Your Mom
“Your Mom is a disgrace and it’s not fair that her terrible behavior is being rewarded. You and your brother should sit down with your Mom and give her guidelines as to what you expect her to do and what will happen if she steps out of line. She needs a firm boundary and you as siblings need to protect each other and your partners and children from her brutality,” another user commented.
“Why not confront your mom like an adult and make it clear that causing an outburst at your wedding will result in you going NC? You have to know your mom is in the wrong here and you’re enabling her bad behavior,” someone asked.
What if Laura Is the Next Jill?
“I completely understand your logic, but maybe step back and ask yourself – Will your Laura be the next Jill? If you change your guest list around to keep Mom from causing a problem – you are telling Mom what she is doing is ok… which will mean when she does it to your wife, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Time to set the ground rules,” another person asked the OP.
Uninvite Your Mother
“The problem here is your mother. If anyone should be uninvited, it is her. After all, she is the one who said, out loud, that she was going to make a scene in public at your wedding to put Jill in her place. You are literally rewarding the bully and punishing the victim in this situation” said one user.
She Behaves This Way Because She Knows She Can Get Away With It
The OP should have stopped the mother a long time ago noted another user, “Not one time did OP mention anything about any family members telling the mother to knock it off. She continues misbehaving because she knows she can get away it. This has all lead to this very moment: drama circling your special day and losing not only your best man but also your brother at your wedding.”
They Were Invited To A BBQ But Then Showed Up To An Empty Grill Because The Hosts Thought They Were Bringing The Food
Have you ever shown up to a party and there was no food? That is what happened to one family who took to social media to share their story.
Someone shared a story about how they were invited to a BBQ only to realize they were expected to bring food for the occasion. The hosts became annoyed when they didn’t bring food and refused to buy.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved