Someone posted anonymously on a forum about how he was forced to cut his wife’s vacation short after she kept complaining about how dangerous his home country is and how scared she was about visiting for a couple of weeks.
Wife Is Scared To Travel
The OP stated that he came from a developing country 20 years ago. He knows his country to be dangerous. His relatives live and work in the country, with some of them making more money than he does.
His grandmother and mother regularly travel to their home country to visit his family. OP’s wife has never visited her husband’s country despite being together for 15 years. He doesn’t think this is a dangerous city.
Go to Visit
OP planned a two weeks vacation. They were to spend one week in his hometown and one week in a resort hotel.
After his wife agrees to accompany him, she starts telling everyone about how scared she is and only wants to visit because he wore her down. She had told the OP that she didn’t want to go for about two months. She tells her colleagues about how brave she is to visit the dangerous country and stay in a hut.
The OP cancels the trip and reservations without telling her. He then books two Broadway shows and a week’s stay at a 5-star New York hotel.
The wife gets really annoyed when the OP cancels the trip.
The OP wants to know if he is justified in canceling the trip, seeing that it might have brought grief to his wife as she was scared of the visit.
The Masses Weigh In
One user argued that the wife was an attention seeker who wanted people to see how ‘brave’ she was for visiting a dangerous third-world country, “Your wife wasn’t scared, she was trying to get sympathy for being “so brave” to go there. I am absolutely sure that she knew there was no hut involved and she was actually looking forward to going, but all this attention she could get was irresistible.”
Another user was quick to support this sentiment saying, “She was playing a part. Look at me! My life is so crazy and now I’m going somewhere dangerous. You should all be talking about how cool I am.”
“…you wife sounds slightly unhinged and an attention seeker. good luck with your “safe” vaca in new york…” said another user.
Others bluntly pointed out that OP’s wife was racist. One user went straight to the point, saying, “Your wife is racist plain and simple.”
Another user supported him/her by adding, “It’s honestly coming off as racist on her part. Insisting the country is dangerous/seeing it as some caricature and dismissing your actual experiences? Saying she’s brave for going to a third world country?”
A user argued that communication was the problem. A conversation might have solved the issue, “Why have you let all of this go on for so long without talking to her about it? This sounds like something that would have been easily solved with a conversation.”
Speak to Your Wife!
One user pointed out that the OP is also to blame because he went behind her back.
The user said, “You changed the plans for both of you without asking her. Even if it was to something she might like better, it still should have been a joint decision, or at least a discussion. That was rude of you.”
Another user supported this observation, “You should have sat down with your wife and told her you want to cancel the vacation and go elsewhere if she is this terrified, not do it behind her back. Totally get why you would do it though, your wife sounds like a piece of work…”
White Savior Complex
According to another user, OP’s wife suffered from a white savior complex. She wanted people to think she is cool for visiting such a dangerous place, “That’s some serious white saviour complex she’s got going on there. Looks like she wants people to admire her for overcoming such terrible dangerous hard conditions.”
Another noted that she was annoyed because she lost her bragging rights when the OP canceled the trip, “Shes only annoyed bc she lost her bragging rights and exaggerations about her bravery traveling.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.