Living with family can be tasking. While one expects their family member to care and be there for them in times of need, they may appear entitled or inconsiderate when they only ask for the bare minimum. But when you are living with someone (who isn’t your parents) rent-free, and they still take care of your basic needs, it is only fitting to help them when they need your help.
In this story, OP needs her sister’s help (only because she has no other option), but her sister is making a big deal out of it. Here’s how it went down.
OP has her own apartment. Her fiancé is deployed, and she has a 1-year-old son. Without a partner, it must be tough for her to keep up with daily activities and take care of a baby. Her 18-year-old younger sister lives with her, which should be some relief. Her sister, Ella, doesn’t pay rent, and she studies at a nearby college.
Not having to pay rent and staying close to college – the best deal anyone can find! Ella has no job, and OP supports her financially since she is still in school. She stays with her because their parents live 3 hours away.
She works five days a week, and her son is in daycare. She got called in on a Saturday despite being off on weekends. It was a call she couldn’t ignore, and her son’s daycare was closed on weekends – you see how that leaves her with no other choice? She pleaded with her sister to watch her son, but she refused.
Her sister, Ella, said it was her weekend off from school, and she had a lot of studying to do. She told her she needed her help and wouldn’t ask if she didn’t have to. She still refused and asked her to find a babysitter instead. Believe it or not, she said that. Most people look forward to that, but not Ella.
OP pressed on and told her she needed her to watch over him. She cared for her; surely doing one thing shouldn’t be such a big deal. She gave her two options: take care of the baby or return to live with their parents.
Abuse of Power
She got upset and played a different card. She said she was an adult, and he was OP’s son, not hers, and accused OP of using the fact that she was helping against her, which I don’t think is true. It was just one day and an easy favor!
Ella chose the first option, though. But while OP was on break at work, she checked her phone and saw that she had many texts from her parents. They said she abused her power and that her son wasn’t her younger sister’s responsibility.
She has never asked her sister for help with the baby before now. Her younger sister lives with her, and she takes care of her – she thought it would be no biggie to repay the kindness in that small way. Now, her family is reacting differently, and she’s not sure.
What People Think
The case is an easy one, with the answer clear as day. All her sister had to do was a small one-time favor. It was an emergency, and emergencies are unplanned. However, her sister acts like she couldn’t care less about family.
One person said it as it is: “NTA, OP shouldn’t have even had to ask, her sister should’ve volunteered, she’s ungrateful considering all the OP does for her. It’s rich that she can remind OP that her son is not her responsibility while treating OP like a parent from a responsibility perspective.”
Ask Her To Leave
Another, who said they wouldn’t forgive so easily, suggested that OP should ask her sister to leave:
NTA. She is living with you for free. This was an exceptional circumstance. If the plumbing needs to be fixed and you asked her to stay home to let the plumber in.
If she is going to live with you, you might occasionally ask her for a favor. Friends, sisters, and roommates to that.
You literally opened your home and let her live for free. You thought she would treat you like a friend/sister in return. You thought if you needed her help she would try to help.
It’s time to ask her to leave or have her sign a rental agreement to contribute by cleaning or babysitting.
However, I don’t think I would forgive her churlishness easily. I would expect my siblings (I have 5 of them) to actually care about me.”
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