A 40-year-old mother of three posted on the AITA subreddit wanting to know whether she was in the wrong for removing her 14-year-old daughter’s bedroom door.
Usually, parents who do such things to their children are flagged as emotionally abusive, but there is more to look into in this scenario.
Broken Sleep Every Night
So, the original poster (OP) has three kids, two boys and a 14-year-old girl whom she calls Maggie in the post.
Maggie has her bedroom, and the two boys share another, all on the same floor. OP and her husband have a room directly on top of Maggie’s.
OP describes Magie as a great kid who does her homework and even helps with chores. She also relates well with her two younger brothers. The problem is that Maggie would not stop slamming her bedroom door.
You Are Disturbing Everybody
When she gets up to use the bathroom at night, she slams the door on her way in and out. Anytime she enters or leaves her bedroom, the door gets slammed so aggressively it shakes the walls and wakes everyone else in the house, including those on a different floor.
OP says they have talked to Maggie politely, asking her to be mindful of the door as the slamming disturbs the rest of the people, but Maggie did not listen.
They even tried to forcefully make her stop the slamming by telling her they would remove the door if she didn’t stop it, but she did not buy any of it.
Kept on Slamming the Door
So, one night, she got up to use the bathroom, and her door slamming woke up the boys, OP, and her husband. OP says she has had enough of the broken sleep, considering she must be up for work at 5 am. She went downstairs and knocked on Maggie’s door, who opened the door and responded with a nasty attitude.
OP says she calmly told Maggie that if she slammed that door again, she would return from school and find it gone. What she did next made OP make the next decision.
Maggie yelled at her mother to leave her alone, then proceeded to slam the door five times as aggressively as she could.
Choices Have Consequences
The next day, Maggie went to school, and OP and her husband took the door off the frame and installed a heavy curtain fabric on the door frame.
Maggie returned from school and freaked out, saying her parents were infringing on her right to privacy. She has been sulking all weekend and has not talked to anyone.
You Need To Adhere to a No-slamming Rule
OP says they put the heavy cotton fabric to ensure that Maggie still had her privacy. They never show up to the room unannounced and even knock on the wall before entering.
They have even told her they would gladly put the door back if she agrees to adhere to the no-slamming rule.
Is she in the wrong for getting the door off the frame?
One commenter said, “NTA. Interrupting everyone’s sleep is unacceptable. You gave her plenty of opportunities to change her door-slamming behavior, and she didn’t do it. Let her sulk it out for a set amount of time (let her know this amount. . 1 week. . 3 days. . whatever you choose), then return the door conditionally for a trial. If she can refrain from slamming it, she can keep it. If not, the door gets taken off again for even more time. Rinse and repeat until she no longer slams.”
This Shouldn’t Be a Long Term Solution
Another said, “This might be controversial, but since you’ve replaced it with a fabric alternative, I’m going with NTA. I agree with what will no doubt be many comments about the importance of privacy, but I do feel like this argument is satisfied with using the curtain. I will say, though, that this should only be a temporary measure. She should get her door back in the not-too-distant future. Also, the second your sons or their friends try to enter her room uninvited, the door goes back on, and you need to figure out a better solution.”
Seems Like Fitting Punishment
And lastly, “Usually, parents who remove their children’s bedroom doors are controlling and abusive AHs who don’t give a single f*** about their child’s privacy. But right here? Your daughter repeatedly slammed the door to her bedroom after you politely and sternly told her not to do so multiple times. Taking away her door seems like a fitting punishment in this case. NTA.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.