A Reddit user shared a story about how her partner became furious after she refused to support him when he was in the wrong in a public restaurant.
The OP and her partner (Taylor) are regulars at a public restaurant. They are well known to every staff there, and the staff knows what they like to order when they visit. They get discounts and special promotional letters often from the restaurant.
Recently, Taylor and the OP decided to visit the restaurant, and Taylor carried an expired $5 coupon. The OP told Taylor that the restaurant would not accept this, but Taylor was adamant and insisted that since they were old customers, the restaurant was obligated to accept the coupon.
When the bill was brought, Taylor gave the coupon, and when it was rejected, he demanded to see the manager. The manager said they could not honor the coupon, but since they were regulars, she was willing to remove the drink charge. The drink charge amounted to $10.
Taylor insisted that they honor the coupon and did not need the drinks removed because they were not a ‘charity case.’ He was loud and had begun attracting attention from the other customers.
The OP scolded Taylor and then paid the full price. Taylor looked hurt and betrayed. They did not speak during the ride home, although the OP apologized for embarrassing him in public.
However, she told them that the manager and the staff were just doing their job. At home, she had to leave Taylor alone to ‘think.’
When the OP told her coworkers this story, they were shocked. Some of them thought that the OP should have supported Taylor in public and reprimanded his actions in private.
The OP turned to the Reddit community and wanted to know whether she was wrong in not supporting her partner when he was wrong.
The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community sided with the OP, with many saying she did the right thing to put him on the spot.
Do Not Reward Bad Behavior
Some said that the OP did the right thing by not rewarding his bad behavior. One said, “You don’t reward bad behavior, it just gets worse.”
“Being a good partner means having their back when they are in the right or they are being wronged, and letting them know when they are wrong so they can grow and/or avoid an embarrassing situation,” added another user.
Taylor Does Not Respect Service Workers
Some users urged the OP to reconsider her position since Taylor would treat her badly if situations changed, “OP being a service worker themselves, they’re gonna have to realize that chances are, the only reason they aren’t being treated the same is because they currently got special status as an SO. Take that away, they’re probably as much trash in Taylor’s eyes. I could never be with someone like that.”
Taylor Was Already Embarrassing Themselves
Another user said that the OP shouldn’t worry since Taylor was doing a pretty job of embarrassing themselves, “Taylor was making a scene and being rude and entitled. They were already embarrassing themselves, so why would OP publicly support Taylor behaving this way to avoid them being embarrassed?”
“Why would you have her back when she was acting like a total jerk? In a place where y’all are treated very well, no less?” another asked.
Taylor Wanted to Bully the Staff for Free Food
“What Taylor did was wrong, she knew the coupon was expired, she thought she could bully her way into getting more free food. Now you’re not going to be able to go back there. Support bad behavior should not be the go too response for people,” one person noted.
They did wrong because they knew they were wrong, “They were 1001% wrong and everyone knew it. There was no confusion. They even knew. They just wanted to get their way when there is no reasonable argument for the restaurant accepting it. It’s not hard to use a coupon, millions of people do it successfully all the time. You don’t need to back your partner up when they are not only wrong, but knowingly wrong.”
Another put it plain and bluntly, “Taylor went into the meal knowing the coupon was expired, but was hellbent on using it anyway. The manager offered to comp the drinks instead, and despite that being a larger discount it still wasn’t good enough. The coupon was EXPIRED. The system wasn’t going to accept it. Her crazy tirade of make the system accept it wasn’t going to work. Taylor was being ridiculous. Sorry, people that pull this kind of {junkj} need the people in their life to point out how ridiculous they’re being. She was embarrassing herself with her tantrum.”
Backing Someone Even When They Are Wrong Is Narcissistic
A user pointed out that it is good to back up your partner but not when they are wrong, “When the circumstance calls for it, absolutely I back up my spouse. BUT. If he’s in the wrong, I let him know. And vice versa, he lets me know. Backing someone up if their wrong simply because their your partner, is how you get Narcissistic Moms with complacent Dads who don’t stand up for their own kids.”
If Someone Isn’t Nice to Service Workers, It Is a Massive Red Flag
“I feel like the bigger issue is why you’re dating someone who’s {bad} to service workers. That’s, like, the number one red flag in dating situations,” said one user.
Another person said, “If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a good person.”
In your opinion, was the OP wrong in calling out her partner publicly?
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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A Dime Saved
Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.