A Reddit user shared a story about how her soon-to-be-divorced husband guilt-tripped her for refusing to take care of him when he had the flu.
According to the OP, she and her husband had been living separately for about a year. They are contemplating divorce. They share kids between them.
Husband Is Ill
Lately, the husband fell ill and could not take care of the children appropriately. He called his mother-in-law, who went over to take care of him and the children. The next day the wife took the children and was due to bring them back to the husband.
The husband called and told her he was still under the flu. She offered to stay with the children and trade in her days with them in the future. He refused and told her she was supposed to be by his side to treat him as legally married wives should.
When she refused, he told her she was selfish and she would not have any successful relationship. OP’s parents sided with the husband and were mad at her for ‘letting him suffer.’
OP’s marriage had ended because the husband did not respect her. He called her ‘trash’ several times, and she almost believed him and tried to change. She decided to move on when her 5-year-old daughter also started imitating her dad and calling her trash.
They were in marriage counseling, and OP had attended therapy for years. OP’s parents did not believe in divorce, and although they had been married for 41 years, the dad still treated her mother with disrespect. The mother was mad at the OP for leaving her marriage because she took it as an attack on her own relationship.
The Masses Weigh In
Reddit community members had different outlooks on this situation. One thought that the OP’s offer was quite generous, “You offered to take care of the children if he couldn’t. That’s the most you can do. He needs to learn to take care of himself. I don’t understand your parents though. Were they, generally speaking, unhappy with your decision to get divorced? I see that your mother is still in contact with your soon-to-be ex-husband, and willing to help him out.”
Another reminded her of the extent of her responsibilities, “You have a legal (and a moral) responsibility to… take care of your kids. That does not extend to the soon-to-be ex.”
“Your parents and him are being ridiculous. He’s a grown man, and he has the flu. He isn’t dying. You offered even to take the kids. No more should be expected,” added another user.
He Shouldn’t Have the Kids
Why did the husband call Op’s mum instead of his own? Wondered another user, “I would utterly refuse to send the kids over there if he was so unwell he was unable to care for himself, let alone your kids.
The fact YOUR mum was there to care for him, shows he shouldn’t have the kids.”
Someone else agreed, “Why are you letting him guilt trip you? He’s a big boy! He can call his own mommy to take care of him!”
Another user commended the OP for establishing boundaries, “You are fine here, you are establishing and defending reasonable boundaries around your time and sanity that will be necessary to preserve this ongoing (if not marital) relationship. Your parents are wild though and your ex has a lot of nerve.”
A user pointed out that the husband was controlling, “he’s being toxic and controlling. Clearly you need to talk to your parents about how they’re taking the side of someone who’s belittling their own kid. It’s bad enough he says that stuff to you wait til he says it to your children and see how your parents take it. What he is doing isn’t okay and your parents need to stop enabling him.”
How would you have responded if you were the OP in this scenario?
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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