Going through a breakup is never easy. Knowing that a relationship that once brought so much joy to you has reached its climax will always hurt. Now, imagine what a divorce must feel like.
When two people who used to be married have to go through a divorce, the chances of them being friends are slim.
Particularly, if there are lingering feelings or unfinished business, it doesn’t help the situation. Therefore, most people would rather keep their ex-husbands and wives far away from them.
But how far can one push the mother of his child?
The Cheating Wife
Let’s call the man in this story Shawn and his wife Delilah.
Shawn and Delilah were married for more than six years. During that period, Shawn had to put up with much rubbish from her. They had two kids but lost one because his wife couldn’t get over her debauched lifestyle.
The drinking and partying might have been something Shawn would’ve tried working through with Delilah, but when the infidelity was brought to light, it changed everything.
Ready To Move On
Shawn was done with everything after discovering Delilah was screwing around throughout the marriage. He just wanted to take his kid and escape all the lies and deceit. Who would like to stay in such a toxic and disrespectful marriage?
Delilah asked for a second chance and promised to quit everything and get her act together. She asked Shawn to give her a second chance, and in six months, she would be a better version of herself. Well, she lied.
Second Chances
No, Delilah didn’t change when Shawn gave her a second chance. She didn’t stop sleeping around and carried on with her outrageous lifestyle with zero respect for Shawn, her marriage, or her child.
On the other hand, Shawn filed for a divorce after he saw that Delilah had no plans to change her behavior.
During the divorce process, she was trying to get Shawn to get back together with her. The lifestyle that is the cause of her divorce, according to Delilah, should be explored, and she and Shawn should be best friends instead.
He Wasn’t Having It
Thankfully, he saw that it was a trap and that Delilah was trying to eat her cake and have it, so he refused. I mean, what was she expecting? After hurting him as she did, she wasn’t expecting him to jump on the offer and scream besties for life, was she?
Delilah lived in her little bubble.
She didn’t accept defeat immediately. She tried gaslighting Shawn, using their child as leverage, and being hysterical. But Shawn knew what he wanted; a trusting friendship and not one that would break him into tiny little pieces.
Co-Parenting
Although he would rather forget she existed, Shawn was open to cordial co-parenting with Delilah because of their kid.
Not too long ago, Delilah had car troubles, and somehow, she felt it was a good idea to call Shawn and demand that he fix it. Of course, Shawn declined and asked that she call someone else, but she, feeling entitled, used the baby mama line, telling Shawn he had to help her because she was “the mother of his child.”
No, he didn’t help her, and yes, he dropped the call on her. That must’ve annoyed her. But does this make Shawn the villain?
No, Delilah Sounds Terrible
In this story, Shawn is the good guy. Also, he tries to be polite and firm. One would expect he would be cruel towards Delilah, and I think he would be justified if he was.
Someone else also believes that Shawn is on the right path:
“NTA. That you share a child doesn’t mean that you have to be friends, just responsible adults sharing an important responsibility of a life choice you two made together in the past.
Don’t give in.”
Another person adds, “She’s a grown woman and needs to learn how to take care of herself. Roadside assistance is there FOR issues like these…”
Shawn has tried to be a gentleman, and that’s wonderful. It’s lovely that he’s keeping the boundaries firm and ensuring that Delilah understands that it’s over between them and that no friendship can ensue.
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A Dime Saved
Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.