Someone shared a story about how they were invited to a BBQ only to realize they were expected to bring food for the occasion. The hosts became annoyed when they didn’t bring food and refused to buy.
According to the OP, this was the third invitation from the same hosts. The OP and his fiancé had attended two previous BBQ parties in the past, and on both occasions, the host had asked them to bring over some food. They usually went with sausages and burgers.
The Whole Family Was Waiting
The third time was different. They found the whole family waiting when they went to the host’s place. There was only one problem; the main BBQ ingredients were missing. There was no food, although the BBQ was fired up already. It turns out that the OP was expected to bring food for everyone for this particular occasion.
The hosts looked very disappointed when the OP turned up empty-handed. The OP believed that the hosts should provide the food. Otherwise, they did not have any business inviting people over for a BBQ party.
Let’s Buy Some Food
The host’s wife suggested they visit the mall to buy food, and the OP agreed to drive her to the store. The host picked all the expensive meat cuts, rolls, crisps, and other stuff for the party. She wanted the OP to pay for the same, but the OP declined, and the journey back to the house was awkward.
When they arrived, the OP asked his fiancé to leave, and they left immediately.
He wanted to know if the Reddit community thought it was normal to hold a BBQ and expect the guests to provide all the food.
The Masses Weigh In
Reddit users leaned onto this story, with many taking the OP’s side.
A user said people bring stuff to a BBQ but it is not mandatory, “When I have BBQs I don’t tell people to bring anything. I know some people will bring things like potato salads or a veggie tray, but that’s about it.”
A host should provide food, according to another user, “Seriously though, even if the expectation is potluck, it’s not normal for the nominal host to not provide any food. Like, the expectation is that the host will at least provide a couple of mains and a side, where I am.”
The Host Should Provide the Main Course
“Host provides the ‘main course ‘ at the very least and everyone else brings something. But unless you are BBQing just for yourself or trying to show off for some reason (like to your boss) BBQs also don’t normally have the best cuts of everything; you are looking at cheap burgers and hot dogs,” another user added.
“I can’t get my head around this! Can you imagine inviting people over for a BBQ. And not have food? Even if it’s more of a cocktail party, you have to have something. A BBQ implies an entire meal. I can’t imagine sitting around a table with nothing and actually being able to look my guests in the eye,” noted someone else
Is This a Scam
Could this be a scam? Wondered another user, “I’ve got to wonder how many times the “hosts” have run this scam. Do they meet new people and invite them over, hoping they’ll pony up the BBQ food? Just move on to new friends once they’ve exhausted their guests’ good natures?”
If you are hosting many people, it is okay to ask guests to contribute, observed another user, “Agreed, the only exception might be if the gathering is large and the host starts assigning categories for people to bring (to avoid 15 different pasta salads). Maybe a few people are asked to grab a pack of hot dogs or some pre-made burger patties (so no individual is footing the bill for all of the meat). Even then, I’d expect the host to not ask more of their guests that they are willing to contribute.”
Expectations Need To Be Clearly Communicated
“Honestly, as long as what is expected and what will be provided is clearly communicated, I don’t think it matters who provides what. The host is offering their home and amenities for a group of friends to gather and have fun. That’s always been more than enough for me because the gathering is the main point for me. Anything they provide is a bonus and appreciated,” added another person.
Don’t Have BBQ if You Can’t Afford It
A person advised that if one cannot afford to host they should not throw a BBQ, “But if nobody can afford it, then nobody hosts and there’s no BBQ. As long as the group all understand that it’s BYO grillable, it works fine. Being expected to feed the hosts and their family, on the other hand, as OP describes, is incredibly rude and greedy.”
Another agreed with this statement saying, “Don’t offer to host if you can’t afford it, unless it has already been agreed upon that all the guests are supplying food and you’re supplying the grill.”
Another shared her experience with BBQs, “I usually host as I have the bigger garden and 4 kids. I never expect my guests to bring anything if I invite them, but they always offer and bring a contribution, like a few beers, wine or sides. If everyone want a bbq and ask to use my garden, then we tend to divvy up the food between us.”
Why Are You Expected To Provide All the Food?
Others have never heard of such, “Never in all my born days have I heard of someone inviting people over for a bbq and expected them to provide all the food.”
Let the guests bring whatever they want; according to another user, “If someone says, “What can I bring?” I’ll probably tell them the food and drinks we plan on having and let them know if they want something different to maybe bring that. Otherwise, it’s totally up to them if they want to bring something, and people usually do. Drinks, or a side dish, or dessert. But I would NEVER rely on one guest to feed my whole party.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.