Huge Red Flag! Her Husband BLAMES HER for Not Going Shopping Even Though He Has All the Money!

A woman shared a story about how she got into a fight with her husband because she didn’t ask for his card to go grocery shopping. She has no money unless he gives her some, so she can’t go shopping.

It Started With an Overdrawn Account

Young woman suffering from postnatal depression at home
Image Credit: serezniy via DepositPhotos.com.

The OP is a stay-at-home parent with no income source. Previously, she had a full-time job and used to put money into a joint account with her husband.

When she became a stay-at-home parent, her husband opened a personal account and started depositing his paycheck into his personal account instead of the joint account. He transfers money from this account to the joint account for utilities. On this day, the joint account was overdrawn.

Grocery Shopping

Woman buys vegetable and food in the supermarket
Image Credit:
FreeProd via DepositPhotos.com.

After dropping her daughter off for a quick class, the OP wanted to go grocery shopping. Her husband was busy on a call with a client, and she could not interrupt him. She looked for the debit card but could not find it. Since her daughter was going to be late, she had to leave without the card.

Later she confronted her husband, asking him why he hadn’t made the transfer to the joint account so that she could access money for grocery shopping.

Making Excuses

Sad woman on the bed with husband in background
Image Credit: Wavebreakmedia via DepositPhotos.com.

The OP’s husband told her that she was making excuses and did not try hard enough to get his attention while he was doing his demonstration for his client.

The OP wants to know if she is in the wrong for being annoyed at her husband for his delay in transferring money to their joint account and whether she was wrong to confront him about it.

All Income Is Joint Income

sad frustrated girl sitting in front of laptop
Image Credit: PeopleImages.com via DepositPhotos.com.

One user pointed out that all income was joint income for parents staying at home, “If you are SAHM, all income is joint income, and him putting his paycheck into individual account is 100% unacceptable.”

Another user thought it was strange that her husband set up a personal account after she became a stay-at-home parent, “As a SAHM, the money is just as much as yours and your husband’s. You needed to do shopping for the family, and he was busy at the moment… Don’t you think it’s very strange that your husband has his OWN private account just after you left the workforce?”

Something Fishy Is Going On

Man hissing menaces in woman's ear
Image Credit: Giulio_Fornasar via DepositPhotos.com.

Several users noted that something was not right about OP and her husband’s financial arrangement. “This situation doesn’t sound healthy. As soon as you became a SAHM he open his own account? It sounds like he’s hiding money,” one user said.

Another user added to this, saying, “It’s one thing if you both worked and had separate accounts + a joint one (like my parents). But since you are a SAHM, him having a private account seems fishy.”

Huge Red Flag

couple fighting
Image Credit: PantherMediaSeller via DepositPhotos.com.

Others urged the OP to see this as a red flag in her marriage. “This is a huge red flag. It’s borderline financial abuse, especially now that he’s blaming you for getting stuck when he didn’t ration out enough into your joint account for you to actually live with,” said one user.

Another user said that the red flag could be detected when the husband allowed the joint account to be overdrawn, “…a massive red flag is he stopped deposits into your joint account, he allows it to get over drawn and on top of all that he doesn’t give you free access to the actual account that has money?”

His Actions Border on Financial Abuse

Couple Looking Angrily At Each Other
Image Credit: AndreyPopov via DepositPhotos.com.

The husband’s action of not allowing the OP access to the money could be financial abuse; as one user noted, “This is financial abuse, not to mention his gaslighting you about how you asked him. He’s controlling you by not allowing you access to the money. I’m guessing he’s isolated you from your family and cut out all of your friends as well.”

Marriage Is a Partnership

Asian couple fighting unpaid bills
Image Credit: Kzenon via DepositPhotos.com.

One person noted that every partner has something to bring to the marriage, which may not necessarily be money, “Marriage is a partnership. Even if he’s the one bringing in the income, it’s not only his money. It doesn’t work that way, especially when you have children. Your labor and contributions to the home and to the upbringing of the child are just as equal and important as his ability to earn money.”

Does Not Trust Her With Money

annoyed man and angry woman in background
Image Credit: amyinlondon via DepositPhotos.com.

One user wanted to know more about how the OP entered this predicament. The user noted that maybe the husband did not trust the OP with money because of her spending habits, “… your husband can’t trust you, why? Is he a jerk? are you a wasteful spender?”

Another user advised the OP to sit down and have a conversation about finances with her husband, “It sounds like the two of you need to have a talk about finances because ultimately this isn’t going to work long term.”

Do you think the OP should have used a better strategy to get access to money for grocery shopping from her husband? What do you think of the husband’s action of opening a personal account when the OP became a stay-at-home parent?

This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.

She Went Back Home After Her Husband Chose to SHARE THE BED With His Friend and Asked Her to Sleep on the Floor

Couple yelling while standing head to head
Image Credit: Wavebreakmedia via DepositPhotos.com.

One Reddit user posted in the “Am I the ***hole” group on Reddit, asking whether she was wrong for cutting her vacation short and returning home after her husband asked her to sleep on the floor instead of the bed.

She Went Back Home After Her Husband Chose to SHARE THE BED With His Friend and Asked Her to Sleep on the Floor

They DESTROYED His Skid Loader and Didn’t Pay Him Back Now They Want Him to “Get Over Himself”

Face enraged infuriated woman screaming emotion
Image Credit: golubovy via DepositPhotos.com.

Is he holding a grudge, or does he have a legitimate grievance?

A Reddit user has shared a story about how a 10-year-old grudge has caused a rift between her brother-in-law (BIL) and her family.

They DESTROYED His Skid Loader and Didn’t Pay Him Back Now They Want Him to “Get Over Himself”

Woman STORMS Out of Her Baby Shower After Telling off Her DELUSIONAL In-Laws: Who Is To Blame for the Situation?

Emotional pregnant woman
Image Credit: belchonock via DepositPhotos.com.

Her in-laws were totally delusional, and she just lost it!

A woman, 27 years old, was expecting her first child with her husband. This child was the first grandchild in the husband’s family. Now, we all know the excitement and adoration that comes with the first grandchild’s arrival.

Unfortunately, it was not all jolly for this woman as her husband’s family couldn’t just accept the gender of the child.

Woman STORMS Out of Her Baby Shower After Telling off Her DELUSIONAL In-Laws: Who Is To Blame for the Situation?

Parking War: The Neighbors Keep Parking in Front of His Grandparent’s Home So He Made the City Put a Handicapped Spot There

angry man driving car
Image Credit: vladacanon via DepositPhotos.com.

A Reddit user has shared his parking wars story after he got the city to put a handicapped spot in front of his grandparent’s house.

Parking War: The Neighbors Keep Parking in Front of His Grandparent’s Home So He Made the City Put a Handicapped Spot There

She Interrupted Her Husband’s Live Stream and Screamed At Him Live, On-Air After He Abandoned Their Child To Catch Up With His Fans

Young man playing video games
Image Credit:
belchonock via DepositPhotos.com.

A woman posted in the “Am I the ***hole” wanting to know if she was in the wrong for interrupting her husband’s live stream and going off on him after the man abandoned their child.

She Interrupted Her Husband’s Live Stream and Screamed At Him Live, On-Air After He Abandoned Their Child To Catch Up With His Fans

 

 

Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.