A mother of a 3-year-old posted in the AITA group, wanting to know whether it would come off as weird if she asked for an invite to a birthday party her daughter had not been invited to.
The original poster and her daughter are new at a daycare. The OP works there, and her three-year-old attends.
It has been three weeks since they started attending the daycare, yet the daughter has already made many friends. The little girl has created a strong bond with another girl at the daycare as they always play together.
The other girl’s mom also works in the daycare, and her daughter’s birthday is coming soon. This other mum handed invites to a bunch of kids at the daycare, and OP’s daughter was not one of them.
Luckily, being a 3-year-old, OP’s daughter did not notice that she had been left out. However, OP says it has dawned on her how much her daughter will feel left out.
She adds that not every kid got invited. However, she wants one for her daughter since they always hang out with the birthday girl all day; she could easily catch on being left out.
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Now, the birthday girl is already talking about how excited she is for her upcoming birthday party, and OP believes this may get to her daughter.
OP clarifies that she understands the venue and activities could have been booked even before they started attending the daycare. She adds that she understands adding other guests to the party can be expensive but still wants her to have her daughter included.
She plans to ask for an invite for her daughter but cannot find a polite way to do it. No matter how politely you put them out, some things will just come off as rude and entitled, and this is one of these scenarios.
Should OP ask for an invite for her daughter? And if yes, how can she do it without sounding entitled?
One comment said, “YWBTA (You will be the ***hole). You said it yourself, your daughter didn’t even notice because she’s 3, but you say you want her to go so she can feel included. It sounds like it’s a you thing.”
Another said, “YWBTA. First, You’ve been there three weeks and have no context on how long this has been planned and the constraints the other mother has. Secondly, we all need to learn to deal with disappointment at some stage, so if your daughter notices, you need to use this as a learning opportunity. Thirdly, most people seem to explain the non-invite in my experience, so that’s odd but doesn’t give you any right to go poking away at it. Lastly, this would not be advocating for your daughter; it would be poking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
Another said, “YTA. You’ve already come up with several different rational possible explanations for why your daughter wasn’t invited. Also, it’s only been three weeks. Your daughter is new; the parents don’t know her or you. Maybe they aren’t comfortable inviting a virtual stranger? Don’t be this mom, don’t be the one who demands her daughter be included in everything.”
And lastly, a commenter who has seen many kids being excluded from parties said, “YWBTA – I’m a teacher. Kids always hand out invitations in front of everyone and talk about their party. They NEVER invite everyone. There are always lots of kids left out. It’s part of life. Better teach your child to deal with that positively early on. You can’t keep everything negative away from them; they have to learn to deal with it. Besides that – 3-year-olds really won’t fuss about those things for a long time; they’ll get over it.”
Would it have been a good idea if she had asked for an invite?
Read the original post here.
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