The relationship between parents and their children can sometimes become strained when the kids grow into their teenage years. This is because various changes would start to occur, which can affect the parent-child relationship dynamics.
This change can either be positive or negative. When it’s positive, teenagers can enjoy a more adult and peer-like friendship with their parents as they age. But when it’s negative, it can cause a rift between them.
Too Close?
Still, teenagers’ relationship with their parents is one of the most important relationships they will have in their lives, as it will affect their other relationships.
In this story, a woman, whom we’ll call Anne, has a beautiful relationship with her teenage daughter (Sandra), but her boyfriend (Matthew) has an issue with how close Anne is to her daughter.
The Cool Mom
Anne has a healthy relationship with Sandra, her sixteen-year-old daughter. Their relationship has evolved from just a mother-daughter relationship to a friendship.
Anne and Sandra are so close that they would talk about everything and hang out together.
Is it Weird?
So imagine Anne’s surprise when Matthew complained about her relationship with Sandra. Matthew thought it “weird” that she was that close with her teenage daughter.
At a time when most teenagers would rather not talk to their parents, for Anne to have such a solid relationship with Sandra is beautiful. So is it really “weird”?
Matthew Has An Issue With Everything
He also has issues with how cool Anne is with her ex-husband and his family, which doesn’t make any sense either. Bear in mind that Matthew himself has two kids; a son and a daughter. But we can’t say he has a great relationship with either.
One would think that Matthew is jealous of what Anne and Sandra have, but instead of commending it, he condemns it. Anne has tried to create a comfortable environment for Sandra, which has paid off. Now, she worries about Matthew’s behavior and wants to know if this is a red flag.
Huge Red Flag
Anyone can see that there’s something wrong with Matthew and his very glaring red flag. Sandra is Anne’s daughter, so their relationship should be the least cause of concern, however close it may be.
Everyone agrees that this behavior is a huge red flag, and Matthew should use the door instead of spoiling what Anne has with Sandra.
Not THAT Unusual
u/thursmulls says it better:
“There is not a darn thing wrong with your relationship with your daughter; he’s just desperate to normalize his sub-par relationship with his own kids and monopolize your time.”
u/thursmulls goes on to explain that the relationship Anne has with Sandra isn’t that weird, and it’s pretty familiar with her and her friends who have teenagers,
“I also don’t think your relationship is THAT unusual, either. I have four daughters; the youngest is 18. My experience, and that of many of their friend’s parents, is more like yours than the stereotypical fraught, unhappy years.”
Others Agree
Someone else agrees that Matthew is a walking red flag and Anne needs to be careful,
“Yes, that’s a red flag – eventually, he’ll get jealous of how much attention you give her, and he’ll try to put a wedge between you, alienating her. Do not allow that to happen! He’s clearly not the same type of parent as you or on the same page as you about parenting – that’s a dealbreaker incompatibility…”
End of the Relationship
Anyway, some good news: Anne has ended the relationship with Matthew. Yay! She did this after he sent some unnecessary texts about her relationships with the people around her; her ex-husband, his kids, and her friends. She couldn’t take it anymore.
Plus, Anne doesn’t care. She’s happy with her relationship with these people, and that’s all that matters.
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A Dime Saved
Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.