He Served His Brother in Law His Dinner on Toy Utensils To Make a Point About How He Treats His Wife. Should He Apologize?

A 17-year-old boy posted in the AITA subreddit, asking whether he should offer an apology for serving his brother-in-law using toy utensils.

New Dynamics

So, the original poster (OP) starts his post by explaining how his parents threw him out for coming out.

He moved in with his married sister, a stay-at-home mom of a two-year-old who is also six months pregnant.  OP says his sister does every chore in the house, so he decided to step up and help.  Apparently, the brother-in-law does not touch anything in the house because he is the house’s breadwinner.

Related: He Left a Vacation He Planned for His Girlfriend After She Brought Her Friends Along

And when I say this man does not touch anything in the house, I mean it.  For instance, OP says her sister must do laundry immediately when her husband takes his clothes off.  She has to put his dinner on the table and even prepare the shower for him.

From these, anybody would be exhausted and burnout, let alone a six-month pregnant woman. They had constant fights because of this.  OP says he used to wear headphones and mind his business whenever his sister fought with her husband.

Related: She Refuses To Change Her Wedding Date After Her Sister-in-Law Asked Her To

It Is Alright; I Will Serve You

So one night, the couple was fighting, and OP decided to go downstairs and see what was happening.  He says he only decided to intervene because there was a lot of commotion.

When he got downstairs, he found out that his brother-in-law, who had just arrived, wanted his dinner heated and put on the table, yet his wife had made it clear that she was exhausted.

The dinner was already cooked; all this man had to do was get it, but he chose to create chaos instead.

OP told his sister that he would be serving his brother-in-law.  The BIL went to shower and expected to come back to a table of food.  OP used toy utensils that belonged to his two-year-old niece to serve his BIL.  When he came down from the shower, he looked at the table setting and wanted to know what OP had done.

Related: She Walked Out of Her Own Baby Shower Because She Didn’t Want One To Begin With

OP looked at him and said, “Since you want to act like a helpless child, you might as well be treated like one.”

This was an actual trigger as his brother-in-law started yelling about how much OP had disrespected him and how he would report this to OP’s parents.

He threw the tiny toy napkin and stormed out of the kitchen while OP’s sister walked in.  She thought what OP had done was funny and could not stop laughing.

When he returned to his room, he could still hear his sister and her husband arguing.

OP’s brother-in-law is now demanding an apology from OP for meddling in his marriage and also pulling that stunt on him.

Was OP wrong for pulling off this stunt on her brother-in-law?  Do you think it did more good or harm to the daily fights over dinner?

Redditors Take

One comment said, “Ok, so this is funny as h***, and he TOTALLY had it coming, but we all know you should have stayed waaaayyyy out of this.  LOL tho.  I understand you were trying to stick up for your sister; who deserves it.  Please accept my softest ESH (Everyone sucks here).  You might have made them fight more.  Abusive people like your BIL often take these things out on people like your sister.”

Another replied to the above comment saying, “Yeah, I mean, I agree that while it was DEFINITELY well-deserved, it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do — for OP, since he needs to make sure he still has a place to live, and for the sister for the reasons you said.  Although, from the post, it sounds like the sister also found it funny and wasn’t mad at him for doing that … who knows, maybe the sister is also reconsidering staying married to this sexist jerkwad.  So yeah, agreed with the very, very soft ESH.”

And lastly, “NTA, but honestly, OP, in this situation, it might be better to keep your head low and stop antagonizing him. It sounds like a terrible situation surrounds you, but antagonizing an abusive individual will affect your sister more than it affects you.  He will take it out on her.  She is the one who is struggling.  You are a guest in their home.  If she needs help, you help her.  Ignore him at best.  You don’t have to be a peacekeeper, but don’t do the opposite.”


What do you think?  Was OP wrong for using this stunt to stand up for his sister?  Will his actions do more good than bad or vice versa?


Read the original post here.

This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.

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Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.