A Reddit user shared a story about how his grown kids accused him of being really cheap when he refused to provide them with good food options. Do adult kids living at home have a right to good food options?
He’s Had It up to His Neck
The OP described how he tried his best to get his two adult sons to learn how to cook for themselves, to no avail. They are both grown-ups who refused to go to college and are working minimum-wage jobs. Their relationship is strained because they have refused to cook, and they keep complaining that the OP is not giving them better food options.
Cover Meal Plans
The OP offered to cover their meal plans if they went to college, but they declined, saying they like their lives apart from the food situation.
Their elder sister moved out after graduating from college. She took care of the cooking and grocery shopping when she was in the house. After moving out, the OP gave the middle kid money to spend on food. They ordered fast food delivery and spent the entire amount in two days.
OP decided to buy basic foodstuff and cook for himself only. When his mother called asking why the OP was acting meanly to her grandchildren, he offered to send them to live with her, but she said no. The two young adults are in line for an inheritance from their grandparents when they turn 25.
The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community sided with the OP; some had follow-up questions.
One user had initially thought the OP was depriving young kids of food, saying, “NTA. I thought you were depriving small kids of food and was ready to blast you. You seem to be describing two young adults who have graduated from high school and have failed to launch….”
Another was quick to support the OP as well, saying, “At first I thought they were kids, but when OP mentioned they didn’t go to college, I immediately realized these are adult-age people…”
Refuse To Cook
Many users could not understand why young adults refused to learn how to cook. One user noted that he/she learned to cook at a young age “… I cooked for me and my four little brothers all through middle and high school. Once I got my driver’s license I did all the grocery shopping as well…”
Another user quipped that the kids had the mentality of middle school students, “Physically adults, at least. Mentally, they sound like middle school students…”
Are the Parents at Fault?
One user sided with the young adults and offered a detailed explanation as to why they thought the parent may have contributed to raising kids who were not self-sufficient:
“You can tell (s)he’s an ineffectual (mom)dad because (s)he told them they had X amount of money for food for the week, and they blew it in 2 days, clearly expecting that despite what (s)he said, he would give them more money, and acted shocked when (s)he didn’t. That makes it pretty clear exactly how OP holds to what (s)he tells his children, historically. This 100% sounds like OP just woke up and realized (s)he didn’t to do SOMETHING, so (s)he’s decided to hold the line for the first time in (her)his entire life as a parent, and is not second guessing holding that line, because he’s never done it before and doesn’t know what it looks like when kids gently push boundaries to find out how firm they are.
The way he tells the story, the details, everything make it clear what’s going on here, and it’s not OP having dedicated time to help the kids learn to cook as they grew up.”
Don’t Cave Into the Pressure
Other users urged the OP not to cave into pressure.
One user said, “…They are WELCOME to move out and get their own apartment. Or stay (rent free) and buy their own food. Or use the supplies he buys and MAKE food. These boys are never leaving home. Honestly OP, you are being too kind…”
Another user added, “It also isn’t as if OP is buying difficult ingredients. They have eggs, pasta, cheese, bread, broccoli. I don’t see how an adult can’t make pasta, eggs, or a sandwich. It’s not like they have to bake bread from scratch or cook dried beans…”
Kick Them Out
Some openly urged the parent to be blunt and kick the boys out. One Redditor said, “Kick the boys out. Seriously. Or start charging rent. But what you are doing now is still enabling them…”
Is the OP wrong in not providing food options as the kids demanded? Is it fair for him to cook only for himself while living with his sons? How would you have reacted if you were In the OP’s situation?
Read the original post here.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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