A Reddit user shared his story of refusing to drive his wife to their son’s wedding because he wasn’t invited.
The original poster (OP) explained that his son’s wedding was a few days ago. He and his son had some issues that affected their relationship, and they are no longer on speaking terms after his son sold his grandmother’s house instead of keeping it. He sent OP’s wife an invitation to the wedding, but OP was not included.
OP refused to drive his wife to the wedding. He said she is disabled and cannot drive, and the wedding is three hours away. OP told her that since he was not invited, he shouldn’t have to drive there. His wife told her she was being unreasonable and that he was punishing her for his son’s decision. OP just told her to make her own travel arrangements since she is an adult.
OP added that their son could have provided a means of transportation for her and not assumed OP would go when he wasn’t welcome. OP and his wife fought, and she ended up going with OP’s brother. She refused to speak to OP when she came home, and his brother said he was in the wrong for making her find her own transportation when he could have driven her.
The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community quickly sided with OP’s wife, but many of them had follow-up questions.
One user said, “I have sooo many questions. 1 if it was your wife’s mother and not yours, why were you so upset about your son (who inherited it I suppose?) selling it? 2 what did you do? There is something you are not telling us, what did you do to upset your son so much? Or is he so petty that he didn’t invite you just because you said ‘you know, I think you shouldn’t sell the house?'”
Another user said, “YTA. She’s right, you were punishing her because of your sons decision. If she hadn’t been able to find an alternative ride then she would’ve been trapped at home and unable to go. You would’ve forced her to miss something really important because your feelings are hurt and your ego is bruised. Forget the drama with your son, this puts you in the bad husband category.”
One user sided with OP and provided a well-thought-out explanation as to why the wife could be the one in the wrong:
“Wouldn’t a 3 hour drive already inherently make that a reason to not expect he would be driving her? If she exhausted allllllll (and I mean ALL other options), she reached out to any other guest who was going and nothing else was feasible, then I’d be inclined to say he’s an AH for not accommodating since it sounds like a petty feud and this is a once in a lifetime event. However if she just assumed he would drive her? That’s INSANE and she’s the AH for assuming he would. (Unless by disabled he means both physically and mentally – as in she was incapable of making any arrangements without help).
At the end of the day, she deserves to be there. But it’s her responsibility to get there. In an emergency he should be willing to step up, but if she just never made any other plans…. That’s her problem not his. What’s the quote? ‘Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.’ Nonetheless, without more context I can’t give a ruling. Everything needed to determine if he’s the AH or not is missing.”
Should OP have driven his wife to the wedding? Was it fair of his wife to expect him to drive six hours round trip for her? How would you have reacted in this situation?
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.