A Reddit user posted unanimously and shared a story about how his wife was pissed because he prevented her from attending a funeral to look at a sick child.
The Kid Gets Sick, Complicating Funeral Plans
The OP and his wife were invited to attend her stepdad’s funeral but the OP could not make it. They agreed that the OP would stay at home and take care of the kids.
The youngest kid got sick several days before the funeral. The OP had a big project at work and his wife had an important work seminar to attend. The OP stayed at home for two days while his wife was at the seminar. His mother had chipped in for another day.
The OP told his wife the day before the funeral that he could not take any more days from work. OP’s mother was also not an option. The wife had to stay home since the kid was still sick.
The wife is furious that she couldn’t attend the funeral and blames the OP for letting her stepdad down. She accuses him of prioritizing his work over her. The OP called the stepdad and gave his condolences but his wife is still mad at him.
The OP thinks he is not at fault since he stayed at home for two days when his wife went to work and she didn’t know the stepdad’s father very well. He wants to know if he did the right thing.
The Masses Weigh In
The response from the Reddit community was mixed up with some people supporting the OP and others reproaching him for his actions.
One user said, “You assumed that your work would be the priority, and that she would stay home to watch the kid so you could do that.”
Related: She Uninvited Her Cousin From Her Wedding After She Asked To Bring Extra Guests
The Op Should Have Made Better Arrangements
Some users feel that the OP is at fault since he knew about all the plans and he did not make arrangements to accommodate everything. “And you would have known how many days you could take off and kept one for that day,” One user said.
Another user supported this sentiment saying, “You could have tried to find arrangements for your child so your wife could attend, but you only thought about how you weren’t staying home the next day.”
He Just Didn’t Want His Wife To Attend the Funeral
A user pointed out bluntly that the OP never wanted his wife to attend the funeral. “…he lives in Denmark, where they have 5 weeks paid vacation, 30 paid sick days and 2 paid childcare days per child per year. He was absolutely able to take another day off. He just didn’t want to,” the user said.
“You could have made it work, but chose not to,” said a different user.
The Funeral Meant a Lot to the Wife
One user reminded the OP that funerals are not only for the dead and this one meant a lot to his wife, “It doesn’t matter who she knows well or not, what matters is that this meant a lot to your wife. You can’t decide what means something to your wife or not.”
Another user supported this saying, “funerals are not only for the dead but for family to connect and support each others. You stole that from your wife with your selfish behaviour.”
Op’s Wife Should Also Have Made Arrangements
Some users sided with the OP saying that she was also responsible because she knew about what was happening and she never made any arrangements, “if I’m reading this right wife had taken no days. If the funeral was that important she could have pitched in earlier and then you could have taken the day of the funeral.”
Another user said, “If the funeral was that important to his wife she’d have skipped her seminar.”
One person argued that the stepdad should have understood that his grandchild was not well and needed his mother’s care.
Communication and Compromise Were Lacking
According to some users, the OP and his wife did not communicate well. They should have come up with some form of compromise, “There has to be some compromise. Maybe she could have skipped the seminar so that you could go to work, and she could then go to the funeral.”
This sentiment was supported by a different user, “the wife didn’t support her kid or her husband at all in this situation and prioritized her work above her own family while the husband and his mother pitched in 3 of 4 days.”
Op Was Advised To Have Reliable Childcare Options
One user advised the OP that they should have support in emergencies, “you need a reliable option for child care in emergencies that doesn’t include your mother or each other. Start looking for a baby sitter you trust bc this was just an unfortunate situation all around and will come up repeatedly throughout the unpredictable lives of a family that has young children.”
There Are Other Ways To Offer Support
A user sided with the OP saying that there were other ways to support her stepdad without attending the funeral, “She can make plans to visit over the weekend and show her support that way.”
Another user noted that the OP was wife to go to work as protecting his family’s livelihood was important, “…making sure you keep a job to feed your kids is a major priority.”
Do you think the OP did something wrong here? Is there a way they could have solved their predicament and allowed the wife to attend the funeral without any problem?
Read the original post here.
This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.
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Robyn Goldfarb
Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.