He Body Shamed Her and She Promised To Lose Weight To Attend a Black Tie Event – But Not With Him

A Reddit user shares a story about how his brother-in-law body-shamed his sister for adding 6 pounds, yet he was clinically obese.

The Story

OP’s sister got married to her husband, Chris, right out of college, and they had five kids over the next eight years. She was a stay-at-home mom while Chris worked long hours to support the family. Chris’s employer held an annual black dinner event which he attended alone while Jen (OP’s sister) stayed at home to take care of the kids.

Jen was ready to go with Chris to the next dinner event as the kids had grown older and could stay by themselves for a few hours. She asked the brother to pick up her daughter from a fun kid’s activity and help with dinner preparations. He agreed.

After preparing herself, Chris informed her that he would rather go to the dinner event alone since Jen had put on a few extra pounds and she wouldn’t lose them in time for the event.

The sister is hysterical after this, and she is shocked that Chris does not want to be seen with her. Chris is clinically obese, but he wanted Jen to lose 30-40 pounds to look good enough in formal attire.

Jen urged her brother not to mention this to her family, but the OP told her to consider marriage counseling.

The Promise

Jen promised Chris she would lose the pounds and be ready for the next year’s dinner event. She started eating healthier and working out while the kids went to sleep.

She reached her goals in 6 months. The same week she reached her goals, she took the kids to their parent’s house and quietly filed for divorce. Chris had refused to go for marriage counseling and often harassed Jen in front of the kids. He accused her of having affairs and told her no one would want a 40-something mother of five.

Jen found employment in a job she enjoyed and now spends a lot of time with her kids. Chris sees the kids one weekend a month as his work is ‘too demanding.’ The older kids do not like going to his house because he leaves them to look after the younger siblings.

The Dinner

The past weekend was the annual black tie event, and Jen decided to fulfill Chris’s wish of attending – but not with him. She went with Chris’s friend. Chris tried to strike up a conversation with her, and she updated him on every development the kids were having without him around.

He left shortly after, feeling awkward and looking red-faced. As it turns out, many people do want a 40-year-old mom of five who is dedicated and happy.

Many users sided with Jen saying that Chris got what he deserved.

Jen Sounds Amazing

Many users congratulated Jen for the courage to leave her toxic husband. One said, “Jen sounds like an absolutely amazing woman and totally {boss}.”

Another person added, “Good for your sister. She really gave that man a lot of chances but finally decided to give herself and her kids the best life she could.”

“I love that instead of your sister dwelling on it and getting depressed about it and stayed with the AH she used it to better herself and got out,” retorted another user.

“Wow, what a rollercoaster of a story! Chris sounds like a controlling, hypocritical jerk who doesn’t deserve someone as strong and determined as Jen. I’m so glad she was able to break free from the toxic relationship and find happiness for herself and her kids. And what a satisfying ending to see her show up at the event looking gorgeous and with a successful man on her arm. Malicious compliance at its finest” added another person.

User Stories

Some users shared similar stories to keep Jen motivated. One person commented, “My fat ex husband complained about my body “not being the same anymore” after I gave him 2 sons. I left him the year my second was born. The audacity of these dudes…”

“Sounds familiar. Went through almost the same scenario, except I lost weight AFTER we separated. If you want the definition of a clueless, awful husband, this is it: while meeting with our attorneys to finalize the details of the divorce, he thought he had a grievance because I lost weight after we separated, instead of “all the the times I told you you HAD to lose weight if you wanted to stay married,” another person shared her story.

Maybe Chris Was Cheating On Her

Chris’s action of not wanting to take her to the dinner event could raise suspicion. One person said, “That raised my suspicions that he was going with someone else. I would have made a fuss if my spouse didn’t want me to go to an annual event (I’m sure she could have found someone to watch the kids for one night). Better late than never in getting rid of him.”

“I cannot help but wonder if Chris was having an affair. A lot of times if someone is accusing the other of that very thing it’s because they themselves are guilty. Especially when he never would bring her around the office…” Another wondered.

Life Is Too Short To Be Tied to People Who Do Not Care About You

Someone was quick to give relationship advice, “My first rule for relationships is: lift each other up. If one or the other can’t/won’t do that, you’re not in a relationship that has any kind of meaning. Leave as soon as possible. Leave at once if the other is an abuser.”

 

Do you support Jen’s actions? Is there any other way they could have solved this without divorcing?

 

Source

This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.

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Hi! I am a millennial mom with a passion for personal finance. I have always been “into” personal finance but got inspired to start my blog after a period of extended unemployment. That experience really changed the way I viewed my relationship with money and the importance of accessible personal finance education.