A woman posted in the AITA subreddit, wanting to know whether she was the ***hole for finding alternative means to go to her sister’s wedding after her husband canceled her plane ticket so she would be forced to stay home.
Childcare Has To Be Done by You and Nobody Else
The original poster (OP) is a full-time stay-at-home mum of three kids under seven while her husband works full-time. OP and her husband were invited to OP’s sister’s wedding. When they got the invite, he declared that he would not be going and suggested that OP, too, should not go.
It was a kids-free wedding, so OP’s husband said he would remain behind to care for the kids, and so should OP.
These two had an option of hiring a babysitter, but OP says their previous babysitter robbed them. Since then, her husband decided they would never hire a babysitter again.
OP’s husband came up with flimsy excuses as to why she could not attend her only sister’s wedding. Still, it was important to her to attend, especially considering how this could be a once-in-a-lifetime event for her sister. When OP tried to bring this up, her husband brushed it off with chuckles, and that was it for the conversation.
Friend to the Rescue
As the wedding was approaching, OP’s husband insisted that she could not attend the wedding and they could not hire a babysitter. OP suggested that she talk to her friend, who will take care of the kids on the weekend, a proposition that her husband declined again.
She ignored her husband and talked to her friend, who luckily agreed to watch the kids over the weekend. OP then booked a plane ticket to her sister’s town.
When her husband found out, he insisted that he had work to do, and OP, a SAHM, had kids to take care of. She told him she had taken care of the kids as they would stay at her friend’s, but he was unconvinced.
She dropped the kids at her friend’s the day she was to fly out and headed to the airport after. On arriving at the airport, she discovered her husband had canceled her ticket to get her to stay. Determined, she returned home, picked up her car, and drove 4 hours to her sister’s town.
Get Back Here Right Now!
She made it to her sister’s town, but her husband still won’t stop bugging her. He called her at 5 pm, wanting to know where she was. When she informed him, he started demanding that she should get back. She said she would only get back after her sister’s wedding.
He blew up and called her a horrible and neglectful mother. He did not stop there; he told his mom, who went off on OP, too, for “abandoning her kids.”
That was not the end; when OP finally got back, they had a massive argument about her abandoning her kids and ignoring him to do things her way. When she wrote the post, she was receiving silent treatment from her husband.
Was she wrong for insisting on going to her sister’s wedding despite her husband’s attempts to stop her? She says she felt guilty and did not enjoy the wedding because of this situation.
The topmost comment on the post said, “Financial abuse? Yup, Isolating you from loved ones? Yup, Controlling behavior? Yup, NTA and please leave the AH (he should be required to give you child support and alimony). You are not neglectful; your kids were taken care of.”
Another added, “Run. Run now. He’s controlling and isolating you from your family. You’re already indebted to him as the ‘breadwinner,’ and he cancels a plane ticket to force you to stay away from your family, then has his mother scold you? You need to get off there ASAP.”
Another chimed in, “NTA. He’s awful; it’s ridiculous to suggest you miss the wedding as there were childcare solutions, and to cancel the ticket is super abusive. I can’t see how this doesn’t cause massive damage to your relationship; he’s ridiculously controlling.”
And lastly, “NTA girl run. Pack your kids up and leave. Your husband is emotionally and financially abusing you. He is a bully, and when he didn’t get his way, he had his mommy call to bully you. This behavior is not ok. Please get away from his gaslighting and toxic behavior.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by A Dime Saved.