People react to the death of a loved one differently. Some people get so hurt and broken that they never remain the same. A thousand songs have been written about this, yet none would truly capture the feeling. Some people would do anything to turn back time and be with their loved ones.
In this story, u/siirensen’s girlfriend’s sister exploits her mother using their brother, who died years ago.
OP has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for three years. She has a sister, who OP has concluded is not nice and is always trying to extort money from their mum.
He would usually ignore this because he felt it was none of his business, but he made it his business when she took it a step further by using their dead brother as a new tactic.
She probably figured the death of a son would leave a soft spot on their mum’s heart forever, and guess what she did?
To save you a lifetime of guessing, she somehow convinced their mum that she was psychic and, therefore, has free access to the spirit realm. That’s not even the crazy part.
She told their mum that she could speak to their brother and her son, too.
What’s crazy is she told her he needs a lot of money. Who knows what for? Maybe to buy an afterlife, Ferrari? I highly doubt ghosts can drive.
Blowing the Cover
OP, who found this as ludicrous as anyone would, couldn’t take it anymore and spilled the beans to his girlfriend’s mum.
He did this without talking to his girlfriend. He said it just happened — probably in a fit of annoyance. It was terrible because his girlfriend’s mum genuinely felt she was putting her money to good use.
Aside from that, it was disrespectful to her dead brother and her mother, who was so desperate to reconnect with her son that she believed such a bogus tale.
OP’s intervention didn’t go as well as he thought it would. You know how they say blood is thicker than water?
His girlfriend’s mum, believing her daughter’s words over him, told him to leave the house.
It was not just her. His girlfriend was angry, too, because he did that without getting permission from her. In his defense, he was upset that her mum found comfort and solace in the scam and that her son needed money on the other side.
His girlfriend is now giving him the silent treatment, adding that her mum is asking her to end the relationship.
That went from zero to one hundred quickly, and now that his relationship is on the line, OP wonders if he acted too fast.
Fire on the Mountain
People agree that OP is not to blame and that it’s wrong for his girlfriend to take her family’s side in this case, and they think this is just the beginning. There’s fire on the mountain. However, the relationship may be headed for the hills.
A person said, “Honestly, this is a toughie. I think you absolutely had the right intentions, and it’s incredibly disappointing that your girlfriend is standing by whilst her grieving mother gets swindled by her own family. It’s unlikely I could do nothing whilst my partner allowed that to happen.
NTA. But I think the fallout has only just begun.”
Another user thinks OP needs to involve other family members. Although, seeing how well that played out with the immediate family, I doubt that would play out fine. Here’s what they said:
“This is elder financial abuse. Are there any other family members that can be alerted? GF may break up with you, but this is a serious issue especially since it involves significant sums of money. Depending on your country there may be hotlines that you can contact for investigation. You not talking to your girlfriend first does not make you the AH. Your gut was spot on, this is absolutely wrong. NTA, by the way.”
This person is of the opinion that they think that OP’s girlfriend’s sister is TA, and his girlfriend is enabling her, “ESH. You are not wrong, and it did kind of come out a bit blunt.
Your GF sister is milking her mother for all that she can. She really is TA here. The mother is still seriously grieving, and sounds like she might need some professional help. The brother has been dead for years, and it sounds like it’s still as fresh as it was yesterday. You will always grieve for a child, it never goes away… but the mother is grasping at any straw. Your GF is enabling her by doing what she’s doing.
But I can see that your girlfriend cares for her mother and thinks she’s doing the right thing but the help her mother needs is more than she can provide.
Your girlfriend may know all of this which is why she’s angry at you because you just highlighted what she was trying to not acknowledge.”
Even though OP’s girlfriend might have only had her mum’s best interest at heart, she doesn’t seem like one that can be trusted, too. She knew her mum was trying to find comfort from her son’s loss and still supported her sister. I think OP was right to follow his gut.
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