The Greatness of Doing NOTHING
Realizing That its Not Always About Doing Something
We all work hard. We all deserve some self-care. Recently there has been a increase of conversations regarding “self-care” and how everyone, especially women and mothers, HAVE to make time for self-care. The days of martyrdom are gone. We know understand that it important, nay, CRUCIAL, for mothers to take time for themselves- to DO something for themselves.
There are so many ways to “do self-care” that are cheap or free. You can take baths, you can exercise, drink a yummy coffee, watch a movie etc. I feel like sometimes I bombarded with this. Take an exercise class! By that drink! Eat that chocolate! Sometimes I feel like there are moments when I feel stressed out about the self-care that I haven’t done. Have I taken care of myself today? Am I prioritizing myself? I MUST go exercise, I MUST find a friend to have coffee with. Its almost become another thing on my to-do list.
The other night I was exhausted. I had a long day at work, the kids were less than optimally behaved. My hips hurt from being pregnant. All day long I had promised myself a hot bath at the end of the day. The problem was that at the end of the day, when the kids were asleep, the kitchen cleaned, lunches packed, I DIDN’T want to take a bath. I was too tired and worn-out to do all the things to get ready for a bath. I know its not exactly a laundry list full of things but I felt like even that was too much. I felt like screaming at myself ”YOU ENJOY THIS! WHY WON’T YOU DO THIS FOR YOURSELF?!”. So in the spirit of “self-care” and “taking care of myself” and “putting myself first” I dragged myself to the bath, filled it up, put in some bath salts to soak and got in. it was nice. Baths always feel good and when I got out of the bath I felt like I had completed my self-care of the day. Now that my checklist for the day was over I could get into bed and go to sleep.
I didn’t feel good though. I didn’t feel taken care of. I didn’t feel relaxed or happy. I felt pressured. I felt forced. I felt like my “self-care” was making me more stressed out than ever before. So I thought to myself, ”What did I really want to do tonight? What would really make me happy” and I honestly couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do. There was nothing I wanted to do for ME. There was nothing that would make me feel good and taken care of. And then it was if a light bulb hit. I DIDN’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. In fact, what I wanted to do was NOTHING. Hats right. I didn’t want to take care of myself. I didn’t want to do something “nice” for myself. I wanted to do NOTHING. Absolutely zero. Zilch. No bath, no walk, no talking to a friend, no piece of chocolate, no watching a TV show, no reading a book, no mediating. Nothing. I want to sit and be. Maybe browse my phone, maybe think about things, maybe not. Maybe just sit and zone out and do NOTHING.
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